


Shoulda Swiped Left

by meowitskatmofo



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Olympian Gods, Anal Sex, Ancient Egyptian Deities, Ancient Egyptian Literature & Mythology, Because I Wanted To Do My Own Thing, ColdFlash Week 2019, First Date, First Kiss, First Time, Inspired by Hades and Persephone (Hellenistic Religion & Lore), M/M, Online Dating, Online Relationship, Smut, it's a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-01-31 18:50:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18597319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowitskatmofo/pseuds/meowitskatmofo
Summary: Barry Allen discovers that Leonard Snart was not being entirely honest about his online dating profile.





	1. Chapter 1

Barry Allen didn’t think he’d ever have any luck with online dating, but damn if Leonard Snart wasn’t set on changing his mind. 

His experiences had been tainted with an endless flow of egotistical jerks and unsolicited dicks pics, nearly giving up on the practice entirely. He began to think there really weren’t any decent guys out there in cyberspace and was contemplating canceling his membership.

But then he found Leonard.

He’d first seen him while mindlessly scrolling through a list of potential mates, piercing blue eyes immediately catching his attention. Way out of his league, definitely, but he had to click for a closer look.

Leonard was the owner of those pretty eyes, plus a wicked smile and a devilishly charming personality that managed to ooze through every pixel of his flawless profile pictures. 

Oh, Barry was definitely interested. 

He skimmed over the rest of Leonard’s profile and he was soon picking out wallpaper patterns and naming all their future children. They liked the same obscure books, geeky television shows, and painfully cheesy jokes. Leonard’s goal in life was to find someone to love forever and Barry thought that was insanely romantic.

His job description was vague, a businessman in the imports business - whatever the hell that meant.

Barry couldn’t believe he had so much in common with such a gorgeous guy. Sure, there were a few years between them, Leonard being his senior by at least a decade, but he couldn’t resist that devilish grin. 

He had to at least try.

Before Barry could second guess himself, he was sending Leonard a message. 

He got up to make a snack and by the time he returned, he already had a response. Leonard wanted to meet him for dinner and Barry nearly choked on his chips.

They hashed out plans to go out that weekend, Leonard laying out every detail of their date by the minute. Barry would have gone out with him that very night if he’d offered, but he didn’t want to seem too desperate. 

Barry floated through the rest of the week, telling anyone and everyone who would listen how excited he was about his upcoming date. 

They were going to first get coffee at his favorite coffee shop before heading out to dinner. Through his work, Leonard was able to get reservations at a very exclusive restaurant and then they would finish off their evening with drinks and dancing at a hot local club.

It all sounded amazing and Barry had never been so happy from taking a chance on an internet dating profile. Leading up until the big night, he and Leonard traded at least a dozen more emails.

Leonard was so easy to talk to, always responded to everything Barry said, and asked him lots of meaningful questions. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so pumped for a date. 

When the special night finally arrived, he changed outfits three times before settling on a red dress shirt and fitted jeans. He wanted to look sharp, but not too high maintenance. A splash of cologne and he was out the door, grabbing a light jacket as he went.

Fall was fast approaching and although the weather was expected to be pleasant, the evening had the potential to get quite chilly once the sun went down. 

He took a cab down to the coffee shop, starting to reconsider if caffeine was a good way to start a date. He was already so jittery, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep from fidgeting as he looked around for Leonard.

“You look incredible,” a husky voice purred in his ear, “and here you were so worried...”

“Leonard!” Barry gasped, whirling around to find his date standing right behind him. 

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Leonard soothed with a kind smile, offering out his arm.

Leonard was a thousand times more gorgeous in person and that smile was worth every penny of that damn subscription fee.

“Ha! Oh! It’s fine! Totally fine!” Barry exclaimed, following Leonard to a small booth in the back. “You can startle me any time you want. Any time at all.”

Leonard grinned and Barry wanted to melt into the floor. 

“Gladly,” Leonard chuckled, sitting down beside him and eyeing him appreciatively. “You really do look amazing.”

“Wow, thank you!” Barry gushed bashfully. “For the record, you know, I was only a little worried because I knew you were going to be stunning.”

Stunning wasn’t quite the right word, but Barry couldn’t think of any other adjective in the English language to capture how attractive Leonard was. 

He had seemingly walked right off the cover of a magazine, dressed impeccably with diamonds at his cuffs and a silver chain around his neck. There was no doubt in Barry’s mind that Leonard’s jewelry wouldn’t be the kind that might turn his skin green. 

From his shoes to his watch, it was clear that Leonard was not wanting for much... except, if his profile was to be believed, love.

“Mmm, well, we can keep arguing about who is more gorgeous,” Leonard teased, “or we can just agree that we’re both beautiful beyond mortal comprehension?”

“Deal!” Barry laughed, his face heating up when Leonard reached over to take his hand. 

“I’m so very happy you agreed to go out with me,” Leonard said, his dazzling blue eyes burning into Barry’s. “I do hope that you’ll enjoy our time together.”

“Oh, definitely,” Barry gulped, smiling shyly. “I’m really, really enjoying it so far and it’s only been like five minutes.”

“I hope you don’t find this too forward, but I have a gift for you.”

“A gift?”

“Mmm.” Leonard produced a small box from his coat, sliding it over the table to Barry. “Open it.”

Barry blinked, slowly removing the ribbon and cracking open the box. There was a distinct crown logo imprinted on the satin interior that he recognized immediately, gawking at a spectacular watch.

It was gold with ruby chips shining at every hour, exquisitely crafted and probably cost more than what he made in six months.

“Leonard!” Barry gasped, drawing his hands back and staring dumbly at the open box. “It’s... it’s...”

“Too much, I’m sure,” Leonard chuckled, gently lifting the watch out. He took Barry’s hand, carefully fastening it around his wrist. “I wanted to thank you for all the time you’ve already spent on me... and all the time to come.”

“It’s beautiful,” Barry said at last, folding their fingers together. The sentiment touched his heart deeper than the obvious value of such a gift, still stunned by both. “But I don’t have anything for you, Leonard!”

“The pleasure of your company is a gift all on its own,” Leonard replied with a warm smile, “and please, call me Len.”

“Thank you, Len,” Barry said sincerely, gazing adoringly into those amazing blue eyes of his. 

God bless the internet, he thought, for leading him to this wonderful man.

They kept chatting and ordered coffee, Barry fussing constantly over his new watch. It was soon time to head to dinner and Len made a phone call to have a limo pull around outside for them. 

Barry felt positively spoiled and even more curious about what it was exactly that Len did for a living to afford such luxury. He didn’t press, the conversation over their meal easily falling into heated discussions about their favorite science-fiction franchises and sharing their favorite corny jokes.

It was absolutely perfect.

After dinner, the limo brought them downtown to Erebus. It was a very exclusive club that was infamously difficult to get into, crowds often lining up around the block. Barry was nervous when Len had the limo bring them right up front, wondering how long they would have to wait.

Apparently, not at all.

Leonard offered his hand to help Barry out and led him directly to the entrance, cutting off the line entirely.

“Good evening, Mr. Snart,” the bouncer greeted, immediately moving the rope and letting them both through. He opened the door, bowing politely. 

Barry clung to Len’s arm excitedly as they walked in, whispering hurriedly, “The guy knows your name?”

“He should,” Len chuckled. “I’m the one signing his paychecks.”

“Wait, you _own_ this place?”

“One of my many business ventures,” Len replied vaguely. “Now, the house special is a pomegranate martini. It’s my very own recipe and I’m dying for you to try it.”

Barry let himself get whisked over to the bar, trying to remember to breathe. This was the best date he had ever been on and he half expected to wake up and find it was all a lovely dream.

The club was dark and oddly somber despite the frantically popping bass. It was well decorated, lush and gorgeous, and yet there was still something gloomy about it that Barry couldn’t quite place.

Maybe it was how cold it was in spite of the thick crowd of people or how the patrons at the bar seemed so depressed. Even the people on the dance floor looked unhappy no matter how passionately their bodies were gyrating.

Barry didn’t think much more about it, his focus returning to Len. His mood was too bright to be dimmed by gloomy atmosphere. He was eager to try the drink, sipping it daintily to prepare himself for the burn of booze. 

Surprisingly, it was sweet and smooth; so smooth that Barry gulped down nearly half the glass in a blink.

“Mm, didn’t like it?” Len teased.

“Not at all,” Barry replied with a grin. “It was just awful.” He finished it off with a little hiccup, asking politely, “May I have another?”

“Absolutely.”

Barry accepted the new drink from the speedy bartender, laughing as he promised, “I’ll actually take my time with this one!”

“I’m glad you like it,” Len said with a pleased smile. He was sipping a glass of wine, so dark it was almost black. 

Barry got distracted by the strange hue; was it really black? Or wait, was it pink? No, it was purple. He stared, watching the liquid changing color before his very eyes.

Before he could ask what it was, Len was already taking his hand and guiding him out onto the dance floor. He forgot all about the weird wine, gulping down his second martini and leaving the empty glass on a nearby table as they slipped into the crowd.

Len’s arms around slipped around his waist, pressing their hips close and rocking them to the thundering music. Barry couldn’t remember the last he’d had so much fun on a date, dancing for hours with brief trips to the bar to refuel.

He promised himself that his sixth would be his last, happily buzzing as he and Len took a final spin around the floor. He loved how their bodies moved together, his hands bravely exploring the broad lines of Len’s shoulders and chest. 

Len kept his hold at a respectful level for the majority of the evening, but now his fingers were dipping lower along Barry’s hips. He leaned in close, whispering in his ear, “Would you like to go somewhere more, mmm, private?”

“Absolutely.”

Len took Barry’s hand, pressing a kiss to it and guiding him back out of the sea of people. To a door behind the bar they went, Len guiding him up a long staircase. 

Barry was all smiles and hands, unable to help himself from getting as snuggly as he could. He had all sorts of ideas of what might happen now, excited for anything. His heart was fluttering away as Len brought him into a large office.

It was practically a suite, so lush that Barry’s only comparison was the grand hotels that big drug dealers always seemed to have in the movies. There was a large silk screen set up beside an ornate mahogany desk and a cozy sitting area with glass tables and dozens of pillows. Tucked away from sight behind a wall of curtains was a king size bed. 

“Len?” Barry swayed against him. He couldn’t believe he was actually standing in a place so fine. “Are you... a criminal?”

“No,” Len snickered, obviously amused. “My business, while a tad clandestine, is perfectly legal.”

“Don’t suppose you’re ever going to share what exactly that business is?” Barry quirked his brow.

“Mmm, perhaps I can show you,” Len mused, strolling towards the silk screen by his desk. He gently pushed the screen back, revealing a mannequin draped in jewels.

It was an elaborate necklace, a thick collar with dozens of long golden chains glittering with countless diamonds. They were all of varying lengths, some dangling well below the edge of the mannequin’s base.

Barry’s jaw dropped, coming closer inspect the extraordinary piece. “What... What is this?”

“It’s said to have once graced the body of Ganymede himself,” Len replied with a mysterious grin. “Crafted for him by Hephaestus on Zeus’ personal orders.”

“Wow,” Barry breathed, instinctively drawing his hands to his sides as if he might accidentally bump into the mannequin and disturb the beautiful piece. “It’s incredible. It’s... it’s what? Something you’re selling?”

“I helped acquire it for a very special client. That’s sort of what I do. I help find things that people want.” 

“Huh. What would you even wear with something like that?” Barry wondered out loud.

“Nothing,” Len chuckled coyly. 

“Huh?”

“You’d wear that and nothing else.”

“O-oh...” Barry blushed.

“Would you like to try it on?” Len asked politely. “You don’t have to strip completely, of course, but it’s not being sent out for a few more days.”

“Really?” Barry grinned excitedly. “You’d let me put that on?”

“Yes.”

“It’s literally worth, like, freakin’ millions.”

“Mmm, but the joy of seeing you in it would be priceless,” Len slyly countered, his eyes twinkling with mischief. 

“Yeah?” Barry blushed a million shades of red, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. “Well, if you insist...”

Len politely took Barry’s shirt and his new watch, setting them aside before lifting the massive necklace off the mannequin. He stepped behind him, gingerly draping it around his neck and fastening the thick collar.

Barry shivered, an instant response to the cool metal touching his skin and having Len in such proximity to his body. He exhaled slowly, watching all the delicate chains glittering over his lean torso and gasping in awe.

It was lighter than he thought it would be, turning to find his reflection in a mirror he hadn’t noticed before. The gold looked marvelous with his complexion and he felt beautiful enough to be a consort for a god.

Although Len was right; it was something meant to be worn on its own. His slacks and worn kicks looked a little silly in contrast to the fancy jewelry and he loved how Len was looking at him right now.

The date had been so perfect, beyond compare, and Barry already knew exactly how he wanted it to end.

His fingers slowly moved to his fly, releasing the button and zipper. He pushed his pants and underwear down in one quick swoop, kicking his way out of them along with his shoes. 

He could feel the longest chains dangling against his groin, cool against the sensitive skin.

Len’s eyes narrowed, scanning over Barry’s bare body with a startling hunger. He made no move towards him, but he was tensed as if he might pounce at any second. “You look... divine.”

Barry stepped into Len’s arms, the chains softly jingling as he moved. He slid his hands up his chest, nuzzling at his cheek as he whispered, “Thank you.”

Len’s lips brushed over Barry’s, his breath cool as he murmured in reply, “The pleasure is all mine, I assure you.”

Barry took one last look at those pretty blue eyes, lost in their awesome depths. They were the color of Arctic waters, frigid and endless, yet sparkling with a power that made Barry’s knees so very weak.

He took a breath and kissed Len.

Kissed him firmly, possessively, their bodies grinding back together flawlessly like when they were dancing. He could feel the press of Len’s bare skin, but never even saw him take off his clothes. There was his cock, right there, big and hard, nudging at his own as their hips collided. 

Barry thought perhaps he’d had too much to drink, but his mind was clear other than being flooded with amorous inclinations. He let himself be distracted by Len’s tongue, sucking it deep into his mouth as they kissed. 

His back was suddenly being pressed down into the mattress, finding himself in bed with Len over top of him. He felt strong and warm, moaning at the pressure building down in his loins from the slide of their hips.

The chains of diamonds were jingling, riding up on his chest as he felt Len’s hand passing between his cheeks. There was a warmth, a wet and slick stretch inside of him, then more pressure as Len’s cock fit itself there. 

It was smooth and painless, his body opening up effortlessly to let Len inside. He was hot, thick, pushing Barry to his limits in a single thrust and making him see stars with every one that followed after. It was all happening so fast and he wanted more.

Barry moaned without care, amazed at how Len already seemed to know his body so intimately. Everything felt divine. He knew where to touch, where to kiss, the precise angle to move that would wrench the most shameful sounds from his lips.

Len rolled them over, reconnecting their bodies and guiding Barry’s hips. Barry adjusted to the new position with ease and began to ride him hard. The necklace was a shimmering mess of movement between them, the longest chains brushing against Barry’s cock. 

He crazily wondered if he should care about the precome he was certainly leaking all over the fine jewelry, but Len didn’t seem to mind so he ignored the thought. 

Barry lifted his arms up above his head, his thighs powering his movements and taking in the fantastic sensations. Millions of dollars worth of diamonds draped over his body with the best dick he’d ever had making him ache in the sweetest way was pretty damn amazing.

Len kept them moving, shifting Barry onto his hands and knees now to take him from behind. His strong hands squeezed his ass and grabbing his collar, forcing him back on his cock again and again. Barry clawed at the sheets, crying out excitedly. 

He could feel himself getting close, but damn if Len wasn’t ready to finish yet. It seemed like he have every intention of going all night. He changed their positions again, spreading Barry on his back and lifting his long legs over his shoulders. 

As Len slid back into Barry’s tight hole, Barry had to frantically grab his dick and squeeze it hard to keep from busting on the spot. He groaned softly, panting, “Holy shit, Len...”

“You’re incredible,” Len sighed, the first words he’d spoken since they’d begun. He kissed Barry’s calf, adoringly and sweet, rolling his hips slowly and letting each thrust drag.

“Me? Heh!” Barry laughed breathlessly, his toes curling at a particularly pleasurable angle. “You feel so good... Mmm... I could do this forever...”

“Careful what you wish for,” Len warned with a sly grin, leaning down to seek a passionate kiss.

“Mmmm...” Barry wrapped his arms around Len’s neck as his knees hit his shoulders. The tender thrusts couldn’t last long, but it was fantastic while it did. He’d never felt this connected to anyone, certain he would never know this level of passion in anyone else’s bed.

The end was coming for them both, quick slams and a twist of Len’s hand on his dick sending Barry spiraling into bliss. Maybe it was the magic of the moment, but Barry’s orgasm didn’t seem to end. Pulse after pulse, he was left shaking until his entire body was throbbing.

Wrecked and sobbing, he smothered his cries in Len’s lips. Their bodies slid together, slick with perspiration, dragging the ecstasy on for as long as they could. It was beautiful, perfect, and Barry knew he was ruined for any other lover.

Len seemed to know it, too. He had the smuggest little smile on his face, kissing Barry softly before pulling away to tidy up. He put the jewelry away and wiped them both down, sliding back into bed beside him.

Barry was somewhere up in the clouds, flushed and sore, smiling from ear to ear. The satisfaction of their tryst was resonating down in his bones, stretching out with a loud grunt.

“I take it you enjoyed yourself?” Len asked innocently.

“Mmm, and then some,” Barry promised. “This has been a freakin’ dream come true. Like I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and find out my fairy godmother just pulled a fast one, you know?”

“Mm, I can assure you that fairies had nothing to do with this,” Len chuckled.

“Hmm.” Barry could hear a clock chiming in the distance, realizing it had to be midnight by now. He grinned, rolling over to throw his arm over Len. “Are you sure you’re not going to turn into a pumpkin?”

“Not quite,” Len said softly, something strained in his expression. “Not a pumpkin anyway...”

Barry frowned, about to ask what was wrong when the last bell chimed. His arm suddenly went _through_ Len’s torso as if he was nothing but air, his body shimmering all over like a poorly projected hologram.

The image adjusted itself as Barry backed away, staring at Len in horror as he gasped, “Len?! What... what the fuck?”

“It’s the end of summer,” Len replied as if that somehow explained everything. “My vessel has been forfeited.”

“Huh?” Barry bolted upright, shaking fingers reaching out to touch Len again. Moments ago they had been locked together in a passionate embrace, able to feel every inch and twitch of his beautiful body and taste him and smell him.

Now he was like a ghost.

His hand passed through him like passing through smoke, the image flickering again and Barry was absolutely terrified.

“What’s happening?” Barry demanded, fear freezing his voice and breaking it into stuttering fragments. “What... wh... what are you?”

“Sacrifices are hard to come by these days,” Len drawled in reply. “Modern times have forced me to entertain the world of internet courting.” He rose out of bed, a long black robe magically appearing to clothe his body. “Every year I have to find a new one, you see.”

“A new what...?” Barry squeaked.

“I need someone to help me collect the pieces of my vessel,” Len explained dryly. “It deteriorates every autumn equinox and must be renewed by spring or no new life can be given to the world. Death and rebirth, the most ancient cycle of the seasons, is tied directly to my flesh.”

Barry was up on his feet immediately, frantically searching for his clothes as he laughed hysterically, “Oh! Right! Why wouldn’t it be?”

“It has been so for thousands of years.” Len was pouring himself a glass of his color shifting wine, not paying any mind to Barry’s obvious intent to flee. “And it will be so for thousands more.”

“Look, thanks for the date,” Barry said as he got dressed at lightning speed. “I love the watch, dinner was cool, had a super great time! I’ll call you, okay?”

“You can’t leave.”

“See,“ Barry said with a click of his tongue, “now you’re just starting the sound a little nuts-“

“Not until spring arrives,” Len cut in. “You have six months to complete my vessel and restore the seasons. Only then will you will be able to leave my kingdom.”

“Your _kingdom_?!” Barry couldn’t take another word of this nonsense. He had been such a fool, sick to his stomach for thinking he could have something real with Len.

Why were the gorgeous ones always so crazy?

He marched towards the door, huffing, “You take care of yourself, Len. Get some freakin’ help.”

Len made no move to go after him, sipping his drink patiently. 

Barry grabbed the knob and flung open the door, stopping right in his tracks. Instead of leading into a hallway, the door now led into a giant cave.

Mammoth and lit by an eerie blue glow, the cave went on as far as Barry could see. There were people, certainly in the hundreds, tools in their hands and mining away at the rock around them. They were all bound in chains, many of them wailing and crying, and every last one of them... no...

They were dead.

Their eyes were lifeless despite the agony of their howling and Barry could see right through their bodies. Some were more opaque than others, a few mere wisps of a human form, but all them were spirits. 

Barry couldn’t believe what he was seeing, backing away and gasping when he smacked into Len who was now right behind him. “What the fuck is going on?” he demanded, trying not to let his fear show through. “What the fuck are you?! You’re not some imports dealer! This... this is... what the fuck is this?”

“Barry,” Len said, the faintest hint of sympathy in his expression. “Let me explain. You have been chosen to help me. I’m not really Leonard Snart, you see. I have many names that mankind has used over the millennia. Plouton, Osiris, Hades...”

“Hades,” Barry echoed, staring at the gaggle of spirits before whirling back on Len. “God of the Underworld? Hades, brother of Zeus? Hades and Persephone? _That_ Hades?!”

"Yes,” Len confirmed without hesitation.

“And, and you need me to do what exactly?” Barry gulped anxiously. “You said I have to find your body to bring back spring or something? I don’t understand what’s going on!”

“Oh, Barry,” Len sighed. “I promise that I will explain everything. Come here and sit down with me. This is much easier if you cooperate.”

“I don’t want to sit down! I want freakin’ answers now!” Barry snapped, crossing his arms stubbornly and moving away from the door. He couldn’t stand to see those spirits any longer, grateful when Len shut the door. 

“Ask away,” Len snorted briskly.

“Okay, bringing back spring, all that. I help you and then I can go home? No more crazy Underworld full of fucking dead people?”

“Yes.”

“Why bother with the date?” Barry held his head up high. “Why do all of this romantic crap, huh? Why... why make me think that you liked me?” He buried the sting in his heart and cruelly snarked, “As I recall, Persephone is kinda the jealous type.”

“Ah, you don’t understand,” Len said with a smirk. “For the next six months, _you_ are my Persephone.”

“Me?” Barry squeaked.

“This task can only be fulfilled by my bride,” Len replied coyly. “You accepted a gift from me, an engagement gift, and then we shared a meal and a bed together. According to the old ways, we are now wed. Until spring arrives, you’re queen of the Underworld, Barry Allen.”

“Oh...” Barry gulped. “Isn’t that... neat.”

“You will want for nothing,” Len went on with a flourish of his hand. “You will be given luxuries appropriate to your new station. Riches beyond your wildest dreams; think of it as compensation for the time you will be spending here with me.

“As long as you are able to successfully reconstruct my vessel and allow me to summon spring, I will grant you a divorce and you will leave here a very wealthy man. Now... Do you understand?”

“Yes...?” Barry blushed. “And my other, eh, wifely duties?” 

“I will not touch you again,” Len assured him. “Even if I wanted to, my physical form has been lost and you need not worry about me taking you to bed again.”

“Ha! As if I’d freakin’ let you!” Barry sneered defiantly. He hugged himself, miserable and angry. “You tricked me! You did all of this and just, just... you used me!”

“For what it’s worth, I apologize for the inconvenience this is causing,” Len said smoothly.

“Screw your apology!” Barry barked, his burst of anger taking him by surprise but refusing to let it flicker out. “You could have just told me the truth instead of lying to me!”

“Right,” Len scoffed dryly. “Tell you that I’m the god of the dead and I need you to find the broken chunks of my corpse to resurrect myself and ensure the changing of the seasons?”

“Well...” Barry huffed. “You still shouldn’t have lied to me! I really thought, you know... you might have...” He took a deep breath, meeting Len’s eyes. “Was any of this real?”

“No,” Len said softly. “I’m sorry, but the deception was necessary to bring you here. I’m sure you’ll find your compensation more than enough... the others all did.”

“The others?”

“Yes...”

“You do this every year?” Barry realized out loud.

“Yes,” Len replied, a strange sadness softening his cold expression. “I have to find a new bride every fall... No one ever stays.”

“Hard to believe with that charming personality of yours,” Barry snorted. “You’re such a catch.”

Len actually cracked a small smile, sighing, “You would think I’d be impossible to resist.”

“Right?” Barry laughed, catching Len’s eyes twinkling with a playful mischief. He could feel that familiar bubble of chemistry bursting between them, but it was over all too quickly. 

Len was walking away and leaving Barry alone. 

“We start tomorrow,” Len was saying, bowing respectfully as he headed towards the door. When he opened it, it was a normal hallway once more. “Sleep now. I’ll come to you at breakfast.”

“Yup,” Barry chirped. “Can’t wait to learn all about tracking down body parts. Should be super fun.”

“Hmmph.” Len rolled his eyes. “Good night, Barry.”

“Good night,” Barry replied, sighing wistfully as the door shut. He flopped back on the bed, whining loudly and scrubbing his hands over his face. 

He wished he had never bothered with internet dating. 

Being harassed by creeps and perverts was bad enough, but he couldn’t have ever imagined getting himself married to an ancient god being a potential risk. Really should have cancelled the damn subscription when he had the chance.

But being queen of the underworld for the next six months... 

Could be worse, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is - my own little rendition of Hades and Persephone with a super weird Egyptian twist! XD 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it! <3


	2. Chapter 2

When Barry woke up, there was a brief moment that he thought everything had been a terrible and weird dream. Finding himself in Len’s bed was a stark reminder that last night had been exceptionally real. 

And passionate...

And so amazing...

And full of wailing corpses and caves and...

Shit. 

He rolled over and saw the watch Len had given him resting on the beside table. Immediately, his stomach twisted. He picked it up and threw it, scowling when it made a less than satisfying tink against the wall. 

If he had a hammer, he would have smashed it into pieces. 

There was a tray of food at the foot of the bed he hadn’t seen before, appearing as if by magic. It was pancakes with rich strawberry syrup and whipped cream, his favorite. He couldn’t recall if he had told Len that or not, but it didn’t matter.

He wasn’t hungry. 

Barry got out of bed, stopping short when he spotted a set of clothes hanging up by the desk. It was a set of dark fitted jeans and a red dress shirt. He didn’t see his own clothes anywhere, grumbling as he put on the new threads. 

He was half tempted to refuse the gift and walk around naked out of spite, but he didn’t want to give Len any ideas. “Hmmph,” he mumbled to himself, “he’d probably like it... jerk.”

“Probably like what?” Len’s voice purred out of nowhere, startling Barry. 

“Jesus!” Barry snapped, clutching his chest and glaring at Len furiously. 

The handsome god of the dead was wearing a trim black suit that he had no right to look so gorgeous in. It was painful how attractive he was and the agony was compounded by much Barry wanted to hate him and couldn’t quite bring himself to. 

“Don’t you knock?!” Barry raged on, trying to hide his gawking and ignore his conflicted feelings. 

“You didn’t eat your breakfast,” Len noted with a small frown. 

“Wow. Those are some amazing powers of observation,” Barry snorted dryly. “You must be a god!”

“Does it not please you?”

“No!” Barry reached out and tried to jab Len in the chest. His finger passed right through him as before, groaning, “No! None of this is pleasing!”

“The sooner we begin, the better,” Len said curtly. 

“Okay,” Barry said, crossing his arms firmly over his chest. “How do we start?”

“I follow your lead into the realms of the Underworld,” Len explained. “The pieces of my vessel are always scattered there. I’ll show you around and you will seek them out.”

“How long is this gonna take?”

“That’s up to you,” Len said simply. “You’re the only one who can find them.”

“And how am I doing that again?”

Len motioned towards the door, magically opening it up and revealing a dark staircase. “You’ll know.”

“Right,” Barry grunted, hesitantly following him down the steps. “So... is this Hell?”

“Yes, but it’s also Heaven,” Len replied, “and everything in between. Souls are energy and this is where they gather when they pass on.”

“They’re gathered for judgment?” Barry asked.

“Not exactly,” Len said with a small tilt of his head. “We judge, but not to reward or punish, not quite in the way that you’re thinking.”

“Well? What is it then?”

“I’ll show you...”

The stairs varied between raw rock and polished marble, as if the architecture couldn’t decide what it wanted to be. They led down to a large gate and through that into a large chamber, miserably cold and grim. 

Opposite the gates was a large giant mirror mounted on the wall, the massive frame extending from the floor to the ceiling. The shining glass reflected the room, Barry, but not Len. The image being absent of the incorporeal god next to him made Barry shiver. 

From the stone walls around them, thick elaborate pillars were peeking out and there was an ornate altar rising up from the floor. There was a faint outline of a human figure on top, rotten offerings of fruit and flowers strewn all around the base. 

Len raised his hand, all the mess magically cleared away. He gestured towards the altar, saying, “This is where you’ll bring the pieces of my vessel as you gather them.”

“Very cheerful,” Barry said sarcastically. “Maybe you could add some cobwebs and a skeleton to really set the mood?”

Len snorted sharply, but the ends of his mouth twitched in a small smile. “I’ll talk to my decorator, see what he can do.” 

“Yeah, get right on that,” Barry laughed, hating how easy it was to find their playful banter again. He found himself smiling awkwardly, clearing his throat as he asked, “Right, so, what now?”

“Well, you wanted to know what happened to souls when they pass on,” Len said, nodding towards the mirror. The surface of the glass rippled like water, resonating with Len’s voice as he said, “Step through...”

“And... where does this go?” Barry stared, crossing his arms firmly over his chest. 

“Where you want to go.”

“Home?” Barry asked wistfully.

“No,” Len replied flatly. “Trust me, just step through the mirror.”

“Trust you?!” Barry scoffed angrily. “Trust you and just waltz through the weird, jiggly mirror? Ha! Maybe you’ve already forgotten how you lied to me? And used me? For all of this crazy crap?! And you... you...”

_You said it wasn’t real..._

“Trust that I mean you no harm,” Len tried instead. “I want my body back and the seasons to change, all right? And you want to go home. Neither of our goals can be accomplished without a little faith.”

“Fine,” Barry growled, his heart aching as he stalked towards the mirror. He wished there had been some part of Len that really cared, willing away the urge to cry and focusing on getting this over with. 

Touching the mirror reminded him of cold silly putty, slick and wet and slimy, but his hand could pass right through as if it were made of air. He stepped forward, finding himself in - surprise - another cave. 

But this one was different.

It was warm and lit with glowing torches, the amber light filling every crevice. The atmosphere was completely different than any part of the underground kingdom that Barry had seen so far. 

There were thousands of floating spheres of light, pink and orange and yellow, begging to be touched. Barry couldn’t explain why he wanted to reach out to them, trying to keep his hands down by his sides. 

“Go on,” Len urged softly. “It’s all right...”

“What is it...?”

“A little piece of Heaven,” Len said with a tender smile, reaching up as if to guide his hand. He couldn’t make physical contact, but Barry felt the warmth of his touch nonetheless.

The moment his fingers made contact with the sphere, they were taken from the cave into a giant field of flowers. There was a large pink castle in front of them with stuffed unicorn guards peeking down at them from the towers above. 

A little girl was running out from the castle gates, waving excitedly as she shouted, “Hey, Mr. Pluto!”

“Hi, Katie,” Len said sweetly, dropping to a knee to intercept her as she tackled him with a giant hug. 

“This is... oh!” Barry grimaced, not sure how to react when he realized how Len was able to touch her. 

“Katie, this is Barry,” Len said, giving her a small pat. “Barry, meet Katie.”

“Uh, hi,” Barry greeted, waving shyly. “I really like your castle!”

“Thanks!” Katie beamed with pride. “Mr. Pluto made it for me - it was my design, of course.”

“Of course,” Len echoed with a little wink.

“You made all of this for her?” Barry found himself smiling. “Her very own little Heaven?”

“Mmhmm. I make them for every soul that passes through my kingdom,” Len replied. “An afterlife suited to their needs, their desires, all according to the nature of the person they were while they were alive. I make sure they’re here waiting for them... although not all are as pleasant as this one.”

Barry understood what he meant immediately, gulping softy. 

“Is he new here?” Katie asked in a loud whisper.

“He’s my bride for the season,” Len said simply. “I’m showing him around.”

“Okay!” Katie studied Barry carefully and whispered again, “Maybe try to keep this one. He’s really cute!”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Len chuckled while Barry blushed. 

“Well, I’m gonna go make cookies for my unicorns,” Katie announced, waving as she headed back into her castle. “Bye, Mr. Pluto! Bye, Barry!”

“Bye, Katie!” Barry waved back, looking to Len with a curious smirk. “Mr. Pluto, huh?”

“I’m different things to different people,” Len said with a shrug. “An angel for some, a demon for others.”

“Did you...” Barry narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Did you just paraphrase _Hellraiser_?”

“Guilty,” Len replied with a grin, waving his hand and transporting them back into the warm cave. “Good source of inspiration for creating Hells, you know. Pretty much anything Clive Barker did, really.”

“I can imagine,” Barry laughed nervously, his mind reeling with the horrific possibilities. He got lost in Len’s smile, clearing his throat as he asked hastily, “So, is my Heaven ready? Like, how far in advance do you make them?”

“Yours isn’t ready yet,” Len said with a faint smile. “And generally speaking, there’s always a place waiting for a soul. I just have to add a few special touches to make it theirs.”

“And you do this for everyone? That’s gotta be, like, thousands of souls every day!”

“Good thing I’m a god,” Len mused. “I’m a pretty talented multi-tasker.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Barry snorted. “Rub it in for us puny mortals who can’t even walk and chew gum. How do you even know who gets what? You said you don’t judge them...”

“It’s not as black and white as you might think,” Len said with a thoughtful pause. “Evil and good comes in many different shades and the afterlife that’s awarded to someone reflects that. It may not be all fire and brimstone, but perhaps an eternity trapped behind a computer in a tiny cubicle.”

“Yeah, see, that definitely sounds like Hell to me,” Barry protested. 

“But it could be Heaven for someone else,” Len pointed out. “I do my best to tailor every afterlife to what a person deserves - or, in some cases, what a person thinks they deserve.”

“Still seems like you’re judging them,” Barry argued. He shook his head, suddenly feeling an odd pull. And there, wait, he could hear a bell.

“Barry?” Len sounded concerned. 

“Something weird... I just...” Barry frowned as the sound got louder, slowly moving towards it. 

Len didn’t move, standing back and allowing Barry to wander away. 

Barry couldn’t explain the sound, but it reminded him of a wind chime being teased by a light breeze. In between the tinkling notes, he tried to stay focused on the pulling sensation he felt in his gut. Maybe this was what Len had been talking about, how he would know where to find the pieces. 

Unless he lied about that, too. 

Barry couldn’t help how bitter his thoughts turned, but the sting of Len’s betrayal was much too fresh. He didn’t care that he was going to leaving this place a rich man; he would have much rather been able to keep that sweet man whose bed he had shared. 

His feet brought him to a stop, his hands rising up into the air. The chiming was louder, almost shrill, the tips of his fingers brushing over something warm and wet. He grabbed onto it, pulling the object close to his chest with a gasp.

It appeared in his palms in a blink, a vibrant red heart, still pulsing slowly. It was glowing, warm and alive, the flesh seeming to shimmer all over.

Barry promptly shrieked and dropped it on the floor. 

“Hey!” Len protested.

“Ew! Sorry! Sorry, sorry!” Barry cried, kneeling down to pick it up. “My bad!”

“You just dropped _my heart_ on the floor! My ancient, timeless, immortal heart-“

“Okay, I said I was sorry!” Barry hissed. “It’s freakin’ slimy! Come on! Give me a break!”

Len rolled his eyes, waving his hand and taking them back into the cave with the altar. “In the thousands of years that I’ve been performing this sacred ritual, no one has ever dropped my bits-“

“How many more times do I have to apologize?” Barry growled, setting the heart down in a huff on the stone altar. “I didn’t think it was actually going to be, you know, an actual heart!”

“What did you think it would be?” Len glowered. “A little cartoon drawn on a piece of paper?”

“Would be a lot less freakin’ gross!”

Len curled his lip up, sighing in frustration. “The first task is done, but there are still more ahead.”

“Are there going to be more literal nasty body parts?” Barry grumbled miserably, wiping his hands off on his jeans. 

“Didn’t think my parts were nasty last night,” Len quickly reminded him with a smug smile.

“That’s before I knew they were all attached to the world’s biggest asshole,” Barry shot back, his cheeks heating up. 

Len snorted, flicking his hand at the altar and the heart suddenly dissolved away into the stone. “Mm. You’re still angry with me.”

“Yes! I’m still angry!” Barry struggled to keep from shouting. “I thought I’d met this perfect guy and nope, you turned out to be a prick of godly proportions!”

“Prick of godly proportions,” a female voice giggled. “That’s a new one!”

Barry looked all around to find the owner of the new voice, groaning, “Ugh, now what?!”

A beautiful woman suddenly appeared beside him, wearing a sharply tailored pantsuit and smiling wickedly. She wiggled her fingers at Barry, greeting, “Hi there, sweetie. I’m your new sister-in-law!”

“Another god?” Barry asked weakly, backing away a few steps. He was never going to get used to all of this magical weirdness. 

“Yes!” she said, planting her hands on her hips. “You can call me Lisa! It’s so lovely to meet you! So, you’re the lucky one my brother managed to catch, huh?”

“What are you the goddess of? Awkward comments?” 

“No, silly!” she laughed. “Love, beauty, fertility, and unfortunate accidents.”

“What? Like... like Aphrodite?”

“And Hathor, Cliodhna, Frigg, Ishtar, and so on,” Lisa said, flipping her long hair. “With a small splash of poor ol’ Hyacinth because oops, crap happens.”

“Huh?” Barry really wished he had read more. 

“Stick with Aphrodite and add the irony of being hit by a car after surviving open heart surgery,” Len drawled. 

“Right.”

Lisa approached the altar, running her long nails along the edge. She seemed to be able to sense something, gasping and whirling around to face her brother as she demanded, “He found your heart? Already?”

“Yes,” Len replied calmly, his expression blank. 

“Do you have any idea how amazing that is?” she now asked Barry, smiling brightly. “Only one other person has ever found his heart first, and she-“

“Doesn’t matter,” Len cut in quickly. 

“We have to celebrate!” Lisa squealed excitedly. 

“No, we don’t,” Len retorted. 

“We can have the party in your depressing little club!” Lisa went on, ignoring her brother’s refusal. “With some actual living people and not all those creepy damned souls-“

“Wait, those people were dead people?!” Barry interjected in alarm. 

“Yes! He hasn’t finished showing you around yet?” Lisa snorted, rolling her eyes. “Slacker.”

“Today is only the first day,” Len growled, clearly frustrated with his sister but she showed no signs of stopping. 

“I’ll invite the whole family!” Lisa exclaimed. “This is going to be incredible!” She playfully swatted Barry’s arm, laughing, “And you have no idea what you’ve even done, huh?”

“I have the feeling that you’re about to tell me?” 

“The only other person to find Lenny’s heart first was his very first bride,” Lisa said with a wink. “Persephone herself.”

Barry had no idea what to make of that, but he could tell that Len was extremely uncomfortable. 

“Maybe there’s hope for you yet,” Lisa declared, although it wasn’t clear if she was referring to Barry or Len. “I’ll handle the party, you two lovelies just remember to show up. Say, eight o’clock?”

“No,” was Len’s flat response. 

“I think it sounds fantastic,” Barry said, pleased that his enthusiasm made Len’s eye twitch. “Hanging out with a bunch of gods and goddesses and dead people? Count me in!”

“Wonderful!” Lisa cheered. “I have a board meeting this afternoon, but after that I’m free!”

“A goddess has a board meeting?” Barry asked curiously. 

“When the goddess is the CEO of the world’s largest cosmetics company, yes, she does.” 

“Wait - you’re Lisa Glider!” Barry suddenly put it all together, staring at her in awe. “You’re the CEO of Golden Glider Products! I love your cucumber melon body lotion! I swear, I can’t live without it!”

“Uh huh,” Lisa said proudly. “Always nice to meet a fan. I’ll have a special little gift basket delivered for you! Think of it as a late wedding present.”

“Wow!” Barry gushed. “Thank you!”

“Aw, it’s nothing,” Lisa purred, batting her eyes. “Now, I have to run, but you boys have fun with your little scavenger hunt and I’ll see you tonight!” 

“No,” Len said stiffly, still clearly not pleased. 

“Oh, shush,” Lisa scoffed, blowing kisses as she faded away. “Tonight! Eight o’clock!”

Barry waved farewell, smirking at Len’s sour face. “What’s wrong? Sounds like it’ll be a lot of fun!”

“Your participation isn’t necessary,” Len said with a little sneer. “My sister gets carried away...”

“Does she do this with all your brides?”

Len tilted his head, seeming to think over his response before finally sighing, “No, but don’t say I didn’t warn you...”

“It’s just a party,” Barry scoffed. “What‘s the big deal?”

“Do you know what happens when you get a bunch of immortals together and get them drunk?”

“No?”

“Well,” Len sneered with another fiercely dramatic eye roll, “you’re going to find out tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeyyy! Look who’s back! XD Enjoy the weirdness! This fic is gonna be a hot ol’ mess! <3


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of Barry’s tour was brief and honestly a bit uncomfortable. Whatever good mood Len was in before had apparently been tainted by his sister and now it seemed like he just wanted to get all of this over with. 

Barry was able to see flowing rivers and luminescent springs, surprised by how much beauty there was to be found in the land of the dead. Though they didn’t linger, Barry hoped they could come back sometime. They visited countless more caverns filled with souls, basking in the warm glow from all the little Heavens. 

Or were some of these Hells?

Barry couldn’t tell the difference; they all looked the same. 

They eventually came to the cave Barry had seen that first night, the one filled with wailing spirits toiling away. The noise was awful and Barry really didn’t want to stay here long. 

“Who are these people?” he asked. “Is this... is this like Purgatory?”

“No,” Len replied curtly. “These are souls that have wronged the gods...”

“Fuck,” Barry hissed under his breath. “You just keep them here? Forever?”

“Or until the offended god forgets about their transgressions and I’m able to help them move on to a final resting place.”

“That’s so nice! Uhm... I mean... are some of these yours?”

“I keep mine in my club. Instead of digging away here in the earth, they have to dance forever in complete agony until I’m bored of them.”

“Why... why would you do that?” Barry demanded, his stomach twisting up tightly. 

“You need to remember who and what I am,” Len replied flatly. “I have to set an example to the other gods and their mortal followers. I will not tolerate disrespect. I keep those who have wronged me on full display as a reminder.”

“That’s horrible!” Barry gasped. “How can you be that cruel?”

“Barry,” Len warned. “This is exactly why I don’t want my sister filling your head with any ideas.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“The party,” Len growled. “Nothing good can come from consorting with the gods. We are not always kind creatures...”

“Oh, yeah,” Barry griped. “I got that part.”

“And while finding my heart is unique, it means nothing,” Len went on, his words carrying a bite. “Whatever lingering fantasy you may still have, all of this is just a means to an end, do you understand?”

“Fine,” Barry snapped back, crossing his arms firmly across his chest. “Message received. You’re an asshole, all the gods are assholes, got it. Don’t worry; you make it impossible to forget.” 

“Good.”

“Great!”

Both men were staring at each other so intently that Barry struggling not to think about kissing him. No, that was stupid. Len was an epic jerk and didn’t deserve any damn kisses.

Even so, it was difficult to deny the attraction and the hungry way Len was staring at him. 

“What else?” Barry asked quickly, eager to break the boiling tension. “What else is there to see?”

“I think you’ve seen enough,” Len replied with a snort. “Unless you sense any more pieces?”

“No, I haven’t felt anything since I found the first one.” 

“It takes time...”

“Trust me, I’ll let you know as soon as I do.” Barry looked away, silently fuming and fighting inside his head. “I want this over with already.”

Len took them back to his suite, acting as if he was in a big hurry. “I’ll have lunch sent up for you. The phone on that desk will reach me personally if you sense any more pieces.” 

“Can’t wait,” Barry said, flopping into bed face down. He grumbled into the pillows for a moment, lifting up his head to look back at Len. “So, if I still wanted to go to the party?”

“I won’t stop you. You’re more than welcome to,” Len said with a disinterested shrug, “but I will not be joining you.”

“Ah, too busy brooding and doing depressing god of the dead things?” Barry guessed dryly. 

“Cute,” Len snorted. He paused, offering casually, “If you’d like... when I’m done with my errands, you could dine with me.” 

“Huh?” Barry rolled over and sat up. 

“Dinner. With me.”

“You want me to come eat with you...?” Barry stared, scoffing, “Is this your lame way of trying to apologize for being such a jerk?”

“It’s dinner,” Len said simply. “That’s all.”

“Not another date?” Barry asked, running his fingers through his hair with a wry smirk.

“Dinner...” Len sighed, turning his head away to add, “There’s no need to complicate this. My other brides weren’t so difficult-“

“Well, maybe your other brides weren’t so sure they’d found someone really special!” Barry snarled, any pretense of being cordial lost. He felt insulted, his anger bubbling over. 

“Special?” Len didn’t seem to know what to even make of the word. 

“For fuck’s sake!” Barry bolted up, wishing he could grab Len and shake him. He knew his hands would pass right through him, but he still swatted at him to vent some of his anger. 

“What?” Len raised an unimpressed brow. 

“Yes! This is a fertile land!” Barry suddenly declared. “We will thrive! We will rule over all this land! And we call it...” He paused for effect. “This land!”

Len looked away, grumpily chiming in, “I think we should call it your grave...”

“Ah-ahhhh! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!” Barry dramatically clutched at his chest.

“Haha! Mine is an evil laugh!” Len was smiling now, enjoying the shared banter.

“See?” Barry’s hands moved helplessly. “Special. Like, who else is gonna know _Firefly_ that well and quote it with me? I thought we really had a connection. And you keep sending all of these mixed signals!”

“What are you talking about?” Len demanded, genuinely confused. 

“Make up your mind!” Barry groaned. “Do you want to be my husband or my friend? Because right now, you sort of suck at both! You can’t just be a total dill hole, tell me this is all just a means to an end, and then turn around and ask me to dinner!”

“I was trying to apologize,” Len grunted. 

“Then just say it!”

“No.”

“Ugh!” Barry groaned in exasperation. “I’m not going to eat with you unless you tell me it means something!” 

“As you wish,” Len grunted sourly. “Enjoy the party. I’m sure it will be lovely.”

“See, that. That right there,” Barry groused. “You ever hear that one song by Katy Perry? ‘Hot And Then Total Douche’? That’s you.”

Len didn’t even crack a smile, growling in a dangerously low tone, “I will have a special place waiting for Miss Perry...”

“The hell!” Barry snapped. “Are you serious? Just, ugh, just go. Go do your weird dead things and leave me alone.”

Len gave one last departing glare and vanished without another word. 

Barry stood up, angrily stomping towards the door. He was frustrated and upset, hoping he could get downstairs to the bar for a drink. 

He opened the door to a horde of screaming souls, groaning, “Oh, shut up!” He slammed it shut, retreating back to bed to make a nest of pillows and pout. So much for that. 

Barry didn’t know what to make of his increasingly confusing situation. It made his heart and his head hurt, wishing that spring was here already. He knew that spring wouldn’t come without having to, ulgh, handle more body parts...

But the heart.

Finding Len’s heart had to mean something. In spite of the protests, Barry found himself still hopeful. Maybe Len really wasn’t that perfect guy he had gone to bed with, but some part of it had to be real. 

All he wanted was someone to understand him, to enjoy life with him, and damn, did he want that person to be Len.

Stupid, he silently chastised himself, to think otherwise. Puny mortal men never seemed to want him, why would a god?

Barry heard a crinkle, looking up from his nest. There was a large shopping bag resting at the foot of the bed with a golden ‘GG’ imprinted on the side. Golden Glider, he recognized that logo immediately. 

He dragged the bag toward himself to peek inside, hearing Lisa’s sweet voice teasing, “You really do love this stuff, huh?”

Barry found her sitting on the bed beside him, trying not to be freaked out by the magical appearance as he replied, “Yeah, but it’s normally a birthday splurge, you know?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Lisa mused. “There is a family discount, you know.”

“I’m only gonna be family until spring,” Barry reminded, pulling out lotions and oh, a new exfoliating cream, and face masks. He opened up the jar for the face mask, basking in the sweet, clean scent of cucumbers and melon. 

“Are you really sure about that?” Lisa asked casually. 

“Pretty sure,” Barry muttered. “Your brother is making it very clear that I shouldn’t get my hopes up, okay? I’m just another bride for the season.”

“He’s a stubborn idiot,” Lisa declared, clapping her hands. In a blink, they were both swaddled in thick robes and had the face mask smeared all over their faces. She offered him a glass of wine, sighing, “You have to understand he’s made himself believe that he’ll never be happy again.”

Barry accepted the wine and nearly chugged the whole thing. The glass began to fill back up on its own; huh, all this godly power stuff was kinda nifty. He frowned at Lisa, saying, “Why? Is it because of Persephone?”

“Yup,” Lisa said with a click of her tongue. “When she left him, it really fucked him up. He wouldn’t speak to anyone for decades.”

“I don’t wanna be that guy, but, eh, didn’t he kidnap Persephone? I don’t see kidnapping as a very good way to start a long-term relationship.”

“Kidnapped her willingly,” Lisa laughed. “They had fallen in love but Persephone’s family didn’t want her marrying the dreary old god of the dead. So, he came up and grabbed her so they could be married in secret.”

“Aw, that’s actually really sweet,” Barry gushed. “I like that version of the story so much better.”

“It’s the truth!” Lisa insisted. “And they were so happy, for thousands of years.”

“What happened...?”

“Sometimes, I think it’s as simple as some people fall out of love,” Lisa said with a sad little smile. “Persephone just didn’t love him any more. So, she left.”

“That sucks,” Barry said through a mouthful of wine. He gulped it down, licking his lips slowly. “You know, your brother told me not to listen to you... that you’re just filling my head with nonsense.”

“It’s only nonsense because he’s a big jerk and he’s not over Persephone,” Lisa snorted. “He can’t see what’s obviously right in front of him.”

“What?”

“You!” Lisa giggled. “Finding his heart is a big deal.”

“I don’t know...” Barry fidgeted, picking at the edge of the mask where it was starting to dry. “He’s already so confusing and I don’t wanna keep getting my hopes up.”

“Oh, shush,” Lisa said, waving her hand. “Don’t worry about it. Just leave everything to me! I’m a love goddess, remember?”

“You’re going to play matchmaker with me and your brother?” Barry scoffed. “You don’t even know me!”

“I don’t have to,” Lisa said with a smirk. “You found the heart!”

“What’s the big deal about the heart?” Barry demanded.

“The brides always find what they love most about my brother,” Lisa explained with a sweet smile. “Whatever it is that they most desire. Usually it’s his hands, for the wealth he can give them. Sometimes, his arms because of the protection they offer. And well, ahem, other bits for the other stuff, okay?”

“Got it!” Barry blushed, realizing he would have to find _those pieces_ eventually. 

“But you found his heart,” Lisa went on, taking Barry’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “You want him. Not the riches or the dick, you really want to be with him... and once he pulls his head out of his ass, he’ll realize he’s wasting a big fuckin’ chance at happily ever after.” 

“We’ll see,” Barry said softly, his chest full of flutters at the very thought. He had the goddess of love on his side; certainly that had to help? 

“Damn right!” Lisa cheered. “Now, finish your wine! We’ve gotta get ready for the party!”

Spending the day with a capricious goddess made the time fly right by. After their face masks and wine, Lisa brought in countless racks of clothes for them to try on. 

They chatted about movies and celebrities, bitched about men and life in general. Barry couldn’t believe how much he and Lisa had in common, secretly hoping this budding friendship would survive whatever happened when spring came. 

As the hour grew later, Lisa helped Barry narrow down an outfit to wear. They eventually settled on slim fitting black slacks and a dark blue dress shirt. Lisa made sure he left the top few buttons undone, leaving his chest bare and giving him a black necklace dripping with sapphires. 

The metal was thin, twisted into long vines that curled around each gem.

“Holy crap,” Barry breathed, gently touching the cool metal as Lisa snapped it into place. 

“There,” Lisa gushed, snapping her fingers triumphantly. “Perfect! Still nice and masculine, but oh, so delicate and gorgeous. Beautiful and powerful and yes, blue is Lenny’s favorite color. He’s gonna love it.”

“But he isn’t coming to the party?” Barry blinked. 

“Pffffft,” Lisa snorted. “You clearly don’t know my brother as well as I thought you did. He’s gonna pout for a while and then show up later like nothing ever happened.”

“You really think so?” 

“Oh, yes,” Lisa said with a sly smile. “Trust me.”

Barry wasn’t sure how wise it was to trust a goddess, especially since he knew all too well how trusting an immortal being turned out for him last time. He tried desperately to cling to hope, no matter how silly it seemed. 

He could still remember how excited he was to get one of Len’s emails, daydreaming about putting together the perfect Star Wars theme nursery for their future adopted children. Yes, it was a little extreme, but Len was just...

Perfect. 

Lisa magically transported them down into the club, the gloomy atmosphere changed completely. The crowd was vibrant and happy, the dreary souls from before totally out of sight. Everyone was beautiful and dressed impeccably, and Barry realized he was in the presence of more immortals. 

No human beings could be this fantastic!

“Come on, Barry!” Lisa gushed, taking Barry’s hand and leading him along. “It’s time to meet your in-laws!” 

Barry had no choice but to follow and chug shots along the way, shaking hands and hugging, doing his best to keep up with the rush of people. 

Some proudly introduced themselves by the godly names the world had previously worshipped them as, others simply gave their modern moniker. 

Montu-Ares-whatever was a suave man with a dangerous smile who now coached high school football. 

Karen was a tight lipped woman with a terrible haircut and a cheap pantsuit, sneering at Barry the moment he looked away from her. 

Loki-Hermes went by the mortal name of Cisco and judging by the way he and Lisa greeted each other with a swap of tongue, he was very close to the love goddess. 

Barry wished everyone was wearing name tags, but despite not being able to remember their names he was having a great time. They all had so many questions for him and they wanted to have drinks with him, many more promising him lovely gifts.

Barry leaned in close to Lisa, hissing loudly, “That one guy just offered me a plane!”

“Who! Hartley?” Lisa followed where Barry pointed and giggled. ”God of music, poetry, and plagues! He’s a freakin’ record producer; he can afford it!”

“Why is everyone being so nice to me?!”

“Because they know you’re gonna be super chummy with my brother,” Lisa chuckled, “and my big bro’ is very, very powerful.”

“Is it like the stories?” Barry asked wistfully. “The three brothers who divided all the kingdoms between them? Hades, Poseidon, and-“

“Oh! You’ve already met Poseidon! She's over there!!” Lisa pointed with a grin. “She prefers to be called Kara now, just so you know.”

“That’s awesome!” Barry cheered, accepting a shot when Cisco brought another round. “Okay, I gotta know... is everyone all super related or uh, no?”

“Ehhhh, maybe only a little?” Cisco snickered. “Not all of the gods were born gods, you feel me? Some of us were chosen to ascend.”

“Ascend?”

“Yeah,” Cisco nodded. “As in, they were mortal and got to get their godhood membership card. Usually happens with marriage. Helps the family tree get some branches and stay out of straight line territory.”

“Oh, okay,” Barry said, too tipsy to even think on the prospect of immortality without squealing like a child. “So, okay, oookay, I know Hades. And oh, Poseidon is a chick named Kara. That still leaves one brother.”

Lisa made a face, starting to say, “Ulgh, you mean King of the Douches himself?“

“The Emperor of Man Slutdom?” Cisco chimed in.

“The Vicar of Venereal Diseases?” 

“Zeus!” Barry laughed, blushing at the ridiculous titles. “I’m talking about Zeus!”

“Someone calling for me?” a gorgeous man teased, magically appearing in between Lisa and Barry and gazing over him ravenously. His beauty rivaled even Len’s, boasting a strong jaw and lusty eyes that made Barry’s loins clench. 

“Uhhh... uh...” Barry stammered, taking a step back.

“I go by Oliver now,” he said, “but you can call me Zeus if you’d prefer... whatever you decide to moan out later is fine by me. I’m not picky.”

Lisa quickly intervened, snapping, “Oliver, no! He’s Len’s bride for the season!”

“Oh, so I’ve heard,” Oliver said, smiling around Lisa and eyeing Barry still. “Found his heart after a steamy night of passion... tell me, Barry - how does making love to a god compare to mortal men?”

“It’s, uh, it was fine,” Barry squeaked anxiously. 

“Hmm... just ‘fine’?” Oliver laughed softly. “How would you like to experience the pleasures that a _real_ god can show you, hmm?” 

“Ugh, you’re disgusting!” Lisa groaned, pushing Oliver away. “Go find someone else to harass!”

Oliver vanished away and reappeared in front of Barry, his fingers slowly tracing his necklace, brushing his bare chest. “I think I’ve already made up my mind, sis... I like this one.” 

Barry curled up his lip and smacked Oliver’s hand away, snapping briskly, “Get your hands off me!”

“Oh-ho-ho!” Oliver was absolutely delighted. “I really like him!”

“Oliver,” Lisa growled, raising her hand and summoning a ball of golden sparks, “I’m not kidding. He’s Lenny’s and I’m not going to-“

“Please,” Oliver scoffed, waving his hand as lightning casually danced over his fingertips. “What’s Len gonna do? We all know he only gets laid once a year and he drops his brides off as fast as he can-“

“But Barry found his heart!” Lisa growled. “This time is different! I’m not letting you mess this up-“

“Mess what up? There’s nothing to ruin, dear sweet sister! Now, let me have a little fun-“

“No! You’re not touching him-!”

Barry kept backing away from the fighting gods, turning and stumbling towards the bar. He did not want to get in between two battling immortals, and ugh, he’d had so much to drink. His head was swimming and he found an empty barstool, plopping down and hanging his head. 

Lightning was shooting down from the ceiling and there was an explosion of golden shrapnel raining over everything. Most of the guests were laughing, cheering spontaneously for either Lisa or Oliver, the bass pumping ferociously as they fought. 

Maybe Len was right...

He wasn’t ready to party with immortals. 

Barry flinched as a glass was slid in front of him, looking up to see a blonde woman perched on the stool beside him.

She was very beautiful, but... oh, she was also very dangerous. Barry could tell immediately, seeing the wicked sparkle in her eyes. Despite her small frame, he could feel the strength oozing off of her.

Another goddess, had to be. 

Barry hesitantly accepted the drink, mumbling, “Th-thank you... uh... have we met?”’

“No,” she said, offering her hand out with an all too friendly smile. “Hi. It’s nice to finally meet you... I’m Persephone.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Persephone?” Barry squeaked. 

“I prefer Sara now,” she said with a wink, “but yes, I used to be called Persephone.”

“So, you’re... Len’s ex-wife?” Barry felt so stupid for stating the obvious, but he didn’t know what else to say. 

“I am,” she confirmed. “I came to meet the new bride who was special enough to find his heart.”

“Why?” Barry blinked, fidgeting anxiously in his seat. 

“There aren’t many happy endings for mortals who fraternize with gods,” she said sternly. “What’s your game here? Are you trying to get at his money? His power?”

“What?!” Barry gasped, frantically shaking his head. “No! It’s not like that at all! I didn’t know who he really was when we first met! I just, I just thought he was some guy!”

“Some guy?” she pressed. 

“Some incredible, dreamy, dorky guy,” Barry sighed, sinking against the bar. “All I wanted was a chance at a happily ever after. Don’t you get it? I thought what we had... I thought it was real.”

Sara was quiet for a moment, apparently thinking over Barry’s response. She leaned forward, asking, “During your internet courting, you really had no idea who he really was?”

“No,” Barry insisted. “He was just a normal guy who wanted to take me in a manly fashion!”

Sara looked confused. 

“It’s a _Firefly_ thing,” Barry hastily explained. “I mean, uh, we had a lot in common and he was sexy and kind and... I just... Well, you know, don’t you?”

“Pardon?”

“You were married to him,” Barry said with a slow blink. “You must know what he’s like... uh...”

“Oh?” Sara stared expectantly. “And how is he?”

“Kind, creative, generous, funny... uhmmm...” Barry suddenly didn’t know what to do with his hands, fumbling for words. “Passionate, oh, yeah, sooo very passionate.”

“Passionate... Uh huh.” Sara smirked. “Even at the bitter end, that was the one thing he and I could always get right.”

“He was, yeah, uhm, wow,” Barry giggled, running his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, I’m going to go with ‘wow’.”

“Rocked your little mortal world, did he?”

“Oh, indeed he did,” Barry said with a big grin. “I mean, all freakin’ night long! And wow, is he a good kisser, and then he had my legs up there and, and...” He cleared his throat, adding awkwardly, “Sorry, I made this weird. Did I make it weird? I did.”

“It’s all right,” Sara chuckled, her dangerous posturing relaxing now. “I think it’s quite charming how clearly smitten you are. Explains why you found his heart... tell me; do you really want to stay here with Len?”

“Huh?” Barry stared. “You mean stay here after spring...? But he told me that’s when it’s over that he’ll divorce me-“

“Do you want to stay with him or not?” Sara pressed. 

“I... I don’t know,” Barry said weakly, his insides twisting all about. He wanted that happy ending back so badly, a chance to be with the Len he had been so crazy about. 

Too bad none of it had been real. 

“No,” Barry said quickly. “I don’t want to stay after what he’s done. I just want to go home.”

“You’re already in love with him, aren’t you?” Sara suddenly accused, peering curiously at Barry’s face with a knowing smile. “This wasn’t luck or some fluke; you really do love him.”

“What?!” Barry squeaked. “What, no! That’s crazy! We only had the one date and Len told me that it was all bullshit-“

“And you believed him?” Sara scoffed dryly. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Barry snapped, stung by the implication. “Who would say something like that just to screw around with someone?”

“Someone whose heart was broken,” Sara replied somberly, “and still hasn’t healed...”

Barry wanted to say something - anything - struggling to find the right words. It wasn’t his fault that Len had been hurt, it was hers! Why did he have to suffer for it? He gathered himself up to his full height, stumbling off the barstool to give that goddess a piece of his mind...

And then his barstool caught on fire.

“Shit!” he yelped, scrambling to get out of the way as the stool promptly combusted. 

The entire club had erupted into chaos, flames and lightning flashing all over the place. It was suddenly very easy to tell mortals apart from the gods since only one small group of people were hiding and the rest were all fighting. 

A scattered few remained on the dance floor, dancing away despite the lack of music. Len’s damned souls, still trapped in place by his power and unable to flee. 

Not that they had anything to worry about, Barry thought crazily. They were already dead. 

“The bar!” Sara shouted, pointing quickly. “Get behind it!”

Barry vaulted over as instructed, ducking down and hoping it would all be over soon. There was an explosion of some kind, powerful enough that it rocked the very foundation. The bottles above him shook, one of them shattering and spilling out red liquid that gushed all over his shirt. 

Barry was starting to panic, wondering what he was thinking trying to hold his own with a bunch of gods. 

“Enough!” someone roared, the sound echoing throughout the club and making all the glasses at the bar rattle. The music stopped, the shouting ceased, and a mouse fart could have been heard in the silence that followed. 

Cautiously, Barry poked his head out from behind the bar to see whose booming voice had such power. 

It was Len! 

He was stalking his way down the stairs, looking around the club with a foul sneer. Everywhere his eyes landed, something happened; a burn mark was fixed, a broken table reassembled, and so on until the club was as flawless as before. 

When his eyes found Barry, there was an odd expression on his face. Barry didn’t know what it was, gasping as Len suddenly appeared right beside him behind the bar. He was startled, but still found himself leaning into Len’s space. 

“Are you all right?” Len asked, raising his hand as if to touch Barry’s cheek. Knowing he’d only pass right through him, he curled his fingers into a fist and dropped his hand at his side. 

“I’m fine,” Barry replied hastily. He adjusted the intricate necklace, teasing, “Hell of a party.”

Len snorted, smiling briefly. That smile vanished when he saw Sara, quickly disappearing and reappearing in front of her. 

“Hey, Len,” she greeted with a coy smile. 

“Seph,” Len murmured, his expression murky and impossible to read as he looked her over. 

“It’s Sara,” she reminded firmly. Her demeanor softened, adding in a more gentile tone, “You look great.”

“As do you,” he replied, asking politely, “How is Ava?”

“She’s wonderful. We’re moving to Paris in a few weeks. We’re going to renew our vows on top of the Eiffel Tower next summer.”

“Lovely,” Len said, his upper lip twitching. His expression remained completely calm otherwise, asking casually, “So, what brings you all the way down here?”

“Personal,” said she. “I wanted to meet Barry.”

“You’ve met him. Now you can leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Sara countered fearlessly. “I wanted to see if this was real and it is. I’m going to make sure you don’t screw this up any more than you already have.”

“Sara,” Len began, a faint edge to his voice, “my personal life is none of your business.”

“It certainly is my damn business when it affects the entire world,” Sara retorted sharply. 

The club started to return to its normal routine, the music playing and drowning out their bitter argument. Barry stayed behind the bar, unsure of what to do now. He scooted out of the way when the bartender got back to work but otherwise stayed where he was.

He didn’t see any sign of Lisa, and Sara and Len appeared intent on arguing with each other. He had never felt so out of place before; and sticky. That red stuff was dreadfully sticky. 

“Awkward, right?” Oliver purred, materializing beside Barry and pouring him a drink.

“Understatement of the century,” Barry mumbled, gratefully accepting the booze and chugging it back. 

“I’d be more than happy to get you out of here,” Oliver offered with a sly grin. “We could go somewhere nice and quiet, you could take your clothes off, get comfortable...”

“No thanks,” Barry said hastily, turning his attention back to Sara and Len. They were loud enough now that he could hear them over the bass.

“Haven’t you done enough already?” Len roared furiously. “Do you have any idea what an insult your concern is to me?”

“Len, I do care about you! I’ve always cared about you-!”

“Ha!” Len snarled in disgust. “You only cared about what you could get from me. You used me, Seph. Used me up and left me the very second you found another warm bed to your liking.”

“You pushed me away!” Sara yelled back. “You shut me out! You can’t carry this kingdom by yourself and you wouldn’t let me help you!”

“I didn’t need your damn help! I didn’t need it then and I certainly don’t need it now!”

Cutting through the angry voices and thinking music, Barry could hear the bells again. The trilling was a beacon, urging him out from the bar and toward the dance floor. 

“Barry?” Oliver called out. “What are you doing?”

Barry barely heard him, every other sound vanishing as it did before. Through the crowd he went, the sound getting louder and louder. He reached out, drawn to something warm in the air that he couldn’t see. He could _feel_ it.

There, in his hands, was a pair of hands. Beautiful long fingers and warm and oh, God; one of them twitched and Barry shrieked, hurling them both to the floor.

Every single person in the club was staring at him with wide eyes, the music screeching to a halt.

Barry grinned bashfully, quickly kneeling down to grab Len’s hands. He tried to brush them off, explaining sheepishly, “Sorry! You know, uh, one of them moved...”

Across the club, Len was hanging his head. 

Sara was grinning. 

“Ugghhh,” Len sighed loudly, snapping his fingers and whisking Barry away to the altar cave. “Could you please not make a habit of dropping the pieces of my sacred vessel?”

“It’s creepy!” Barry complained, quickly placing the hands on the altar. “I’m sorry, it freakin’ moved!”

Len waved his fingers, the hands vanishing as the heart had before. He looked thoughtful, glancing at Barry as he noted, “No one’s ever found a piece so close to the edge of my kingdom.”

“What... What does that mean?”

“I honestly don’t know.” Len pressed close, his hand gently touching Barry’s cheek. “But maybe it means... that I made a mistake.”

“Gods make mistakes?”

“Sometimes...”

Barry leaned into Len’s hand, instinctively reaching for his arm, but the physical form ended just at his wrist despite what his eyes could see. “That’s so weird.”

Len chuckled softly, teasing, “Motivation for you to find the rest more quickly.” 

“Jerk,” Barry snorted, loving the brush of Len’s thumb over his ear. He sighed, not wanting to spoil the tender moment, but everything Sara had said was starting to set in. 

“Sara, Persephone, she left you for someone else?”

“Yes,” Len said softly, his hand dropping away. “I’m sorry you had to witness all of that... I am not my best self when I’m around her.”

“It’s okay,” Barry soothed. “You’re not the only one who’s been through a bad break up, you know.”

“I’m aware.”

Silence fell between them, Barry swaying from a mix of alcohol and nerves, trying to think of something to say. He thought back to Sara’s words, clearing his throat before he asked, “Did you really mean it... when you said what we had wasn’t real?”

Len seemed troubled by the question, turning away from Barry. He didn’t answer, only staring blankly at the altar. 

Barry reached out for the one piece of Len he knew he could touch, his hand, squeezing earnestly. “Len... please.”

Len finally looked at Barry, deep lines creasing his face. He was ancient in that moment, all the centuries of pain clear as day when their eyes met. “What do you want from me, Barry?”

“Another chance,” Barry said firmly. “A chance to start over without the lies. I know you’re afraid... and I am, too.”

“What could you possibly be afraid of?” Len scoffed. 

“You breaking my heart again,” Barry replied honestly, his stomach twisting up into knots. 

“You’re willing to risk it?” Len was thoughtful now, lacing their fingers together. 

“I have until spring to make up my mind, right?” Barry tried to warm up his smile, reaching over to take Len’s other hand. “All I’m asking for is a chance to start fresh and see what happens. I know it’s crazy... but maybe this is where I’m supposed to be.”

“In the Underworld?” Len quirked a brow.

“No,” Barry laughed, “here with you.” 

Len actually looked surprised, his expression relaxing once more. He smirked, small and sweet, giving Barry’s hands a squeeze in return. “You really are insane.”

”Yeah,” Barry agreed, grinning proudly. 

“And very beautiful,” Len added, his eyes flicking over Barry in a hungry way that made him shiver. “My sister outdid herself dressing you... you look exquisite.” 

“Thank you,” Barry said, well aware his cheeks were heating up. 

“Shame about the shirt.” Len tilted his head, eyeing the stain. “Syrup?”

“I think it’s grenadine,” Barry said with a grimace. 

“How about a nice bath to rinse off the filth of the evening?”

“That sounds great.” The words had barely left his lips before Barry found himself instantly transported to a large bathroom, easily bigger than his apartment. The tub was a mammoth pool built into the floor, steaming hot. 

“May I?” Len asked, his hands brushing over the front of Barry’s shirt.

Barry gulped, the blood in his circulatory system promptly diving south. “Uh... sure.”

Len unbuttoned each button with the utmost care, sliding the stained garment off and letting it hit the floor. He petted Barry’s arms and chest, slowly moving down to his pants.

“Couldn’t you... uh... use your powers and just blink my clothes off?” Barry asked, hoping Len would somehow not notice how hard he was getting. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Len winked, dropping Barry’s pants down. He took his time, removing the last of his clothing except the necklace. “You look perfect like this; in nothing but jewels.”

Barry gazed at Len, his heart pounding as he whispered, “I wish I could kiss you right now.” 

“I know.” Len ran his fingers through Barry’s hair, promising, “Soon...” He took Barry’s hand, guiding him into the bath with gentle touches. 

“You never did tell me,” Barry said, sinking down into the hot water with a happy groan.

“Tell you what?”

“Why you lied to me...”

Len didn’t respond for a moment. “To protect myself,” he said at last. “You were right. I am afraid... to get hurt again. This is not easy for me, year after year...”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be that way,” Barry said carefully, looking up at him hopefully. “Maybe I can stay.”

“You’d stay.” It almost sounded like a question. 

“I said ‘maybe’,” Barry taunted, smiling cheekily. “The bath is a nice start, but you have a lot of making up to do. If you’re messing with me, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you."

“Mmm,” Len hummed, chuckling warmly. “Whatever you say, Captain Tightpants.”

Barry loved how well Len could quote their favorite show and he wanted to keep up the playful teasing, but his voice cracked when he said, “You really hurt me, Len.”

“I know,” Len said quietly, “and for that... I am sorry.” He reached over to touch Barry’s face, feathery and light. “I’ve been alone for a long time. I never thought to give anyone my heart again...”

“And then I found it in a dirty cave, huh?” 

“Oh, Barry,” Len sighed, smiling sweetly. “You had my heart long before we even met.” 

“Huh?” Barry stared, not sure what Len meant. 

“Our letters,” Len explained with a twinkle in his eye. “Our electronic mail? I knew from your very first one that I had found someone very special.”

“Oh, Len...” Barry sighed, his eyes hot and his heart aching in the most wonderful way.

“Close your eyes.”

“What for?”

“So I can start making up to you...”

Barry wasn’t sure what Len had in mind, but he closed his eyes as asked. He gasped when he suddenly felt Len’s hands on his body, stroking his sides and hips. It was like Len was sitting right behind him, but the only thing Barry could feel other than his hands was the warm tile against his body. 

Len’s strong hands moved over his thighs, dipping into his groin and stroking lightly over his cock. Barry instinctively reached down to touch his arm, but found nothing. All he could feel was those phantom hands all over his dick and it was feeling good. 

Really good. 

Len kept stroking his cock, those long fingers twisting around him in the most delightful way. His other hand was caressing his balls, dipping below to teasingly pet his hole. 

Barry couldn’t help but gasp, bracing himself at the side of the tub. He’d never had a handjob this intense, scrambling to keep himself from coming too soon. “Len.... I.... fuck...”

“Come on,” Len urged. 

Intense heat was building up inside Barry’s body, from his balls to deep inside his loins. The pressure was amazing and impossible to resist. His mortal brain couldn’t take so much pleasure, groaning as he suddenly came. 

It was intense enough to leave him gasping, stars dancing in front of his eyes. “Len!” he groaned “Fuck! Yes!”

Len kept his fingers moving, driving Barry to the point of near agony from so much stimulation. He finally released him, whispering, “Open your eyes.”

Barry found Len in the bath next to him, naked as he was, and how he longed to hold him. He wanted to kiss him so terribly, settling on bringing his hand up to his lips instead. “Wow...”

“Mmhmm,” Len agreed, sliding his thumb over Barry’s lower lip. “Beautiful...”

Barry grinned, deeply satisfied and exhausted from the exciting evening. “So... dinner?” 

“Right now?” Len laughed. 

“If the offer is still standing,” Barry said, playfully splashing at Len. 

Even though the water right through him, Len acted offended and splashed back. “Hmmph.“

“Pretty sure a god can handle some Chinese takeout, right?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”


	5. Chapter 5

Gathering a Chinese food feast worthy of a king was apparently a simple task for a god. Len had a full buffet waiting for Barry when they returned to his suite, eating until they were both stuffed and happy. 

They cuddled as much as they could in bed, watching - what else - a _Firefly_ marathon. They sang the theme song together and Barry fell asleep with Len’s fingers petting his hair before the first episode had even ended.

The next days were slow and sweet for Barry, filled with Len’s kisses and the touch of his hands. Oh, those hands. Those beautiful and absolutely magical hands. 

Barry couldn’t wait for the rest of Len’s body to be restored so he could return the favor. 

The next few pieces came easily; hips, shoulders, and thighs. It gave Barry something to hold onto when those lovely hands worked him over and he was proud that he hadn’t dropped any of them. 

Len was very appreciative of that, especially when they finally found his more delicate parts. 

Barry was giggling the entire time he placed his manly bits on the altar, blushing all over. 

Len rolled his eyes, drawling, “It’s not funny.”

“It’s sort of funny,” Barry countered with a grin. 

Len quickly waved his hand to make the delicate organ disappear, snorting, “It’s a vital piece of my vessel. It’s sacred.”

“It’s your dick!” Barry burst out laughing. 

Len sighed, a sound of someone who’s been suffering a long time as he patiently waited for Barry to stop cackling. 

“I mean, when they say every part? They really meant every part!” Barry was wheezing, nearly doubled over now. 

“How about,” Len began, reaching over to steady Barry, “instead of laughing about it, I take you somewhere to enjoy it?”

Barry’s laughter died with a small squeak. “You mean...”

“Uh huh.”

Barry flushed, licking his lips eagerly. Len’s hands were very skilled, but Barry’s body had certainly been aching for something more. He pressed close, gazing up at Len as he began to nod. “Yeah, definitely. Please.”

“Come on,” Len chuckled, pulling Barry close. “Let’s go.” 

Barry closed his eyes, Len whisking them away to one of the gorgeous underground waterfalls. There was a large pool, the water steaming hot and calm despite the rushing falls above it. The blue glow that lit up the cavern was soothing and Barry was already stripping the second his feet touched solid ground. 

“Eager, are we?” Len teased, watching Barry hurling his pants aside with a smirk. 

“I really need you to come tear all my clothes off,” Barry demanded firmly, paraphrasing their favorite show with a little wink. 

“Gladly,” Len said as he ran his hands over Barry’s body, helping him hastily pull his clothes off. 

Barry watched as Len’s clothing magically vanished, trying to slide his hands up his chest and finding only air. He repositioned his hands on his broad shoulders, finding flesh there, mumbling, “That is still so weird.”

“Soon I’ll be fully restored,” Len promised, guiding Barry into the hot waters of the pool. “Then you can touch me as much as you like.”

“Oh, I definitely plan to,” Barry confirmed. “I can’t wait to find your head... at least your lips. I just... I really want to kiss you. Does your mouth come with your head?”

“It does,” Len snorted, wading out until the water was waist deep, pulling Barry into his arms. 

Well, at least against his shoulders. 

Barry kept his hands anchored there, groaning as he rocked forward and felt the new heat of Len’s hips and cock rubbing against him. “Wow...”

“Mmhmm...” Len was already hard, stroking the small of Barry’s back and caressing between his cheeks. 

Barry leaned his head on Len’s shoulder, kissing softly where he knew he could touch. He arched back into Len’s fingers, pleading, “Come on... don’t keep me waiting.”

“Turn around,” Len purred, giving Barry’s hip a playful squeeze, “and grab the ledge.”

“Yes, Mister Bossy God, sir!” Barry giggled, kissing Len’s shoulder once more before getting in position. He held onto the ledge, offering himself with spread legs and a coy smile. 

Len snapped his fingers, smirking as he began to rub his cock up against Barry’s hole. “I figured that my lacking body parts wouldn’t feel so strange like this.”

“Feels good,” Barry agreed, moaning as he felt his body get magically slick and open. “And damn, that godly prep is freakin’ awesome!”

“There are many perks to being a god,” Len said with a smug smile, beginning to push inside. The first few inches slid in without protest, both men sharing a soft moan of pleasure. 

Barry loved how full he was already and Len’s strong hands possessively grabbing his hips felt fantastic. He cried out as Len pushed a little deeper, the ache in his loins now positively throbbing. 

Len went slowly at first, short little thrusts to work himself the rest of the way inside. “There,” he praised, “look at you, Barry... so beautiful full of my cock...”

Nothing had any right to feel this perfect, Barry left on the precipice of madness and utter euphoria as Len’s girth stretched him out. There was never any pain, only the most intense sensation, throwing his head back with a loud sob as Len began to move. 

Len’s slams were deep, rolling his hips to hit something inside of Barry that made his vision white out. It was something magical, something only a god could reach, Barry’s frantic thoughts wondering if it was his soul. 

The incredible sense of connection was right there where they’d left it from that first night together, loving how intuitive Len. He knew what angle to hit and where to touch to transform Barry into a drooling mess. 

“Oh, Len,” Barry moaned, his entire body awash in the heat of the water and the cock buried so deep within, “it’s perfect... fuck, you feel so goddamn perfect...!”

“So do you,” Len groaned, rocking faster now. 

Barry had to reach back, had to hold onto something other than rock. He grabbed Len’s hip, his fingers greedily sliding down to grip his thigh. 

Len growled happily at his touch, groaning as he pressed closer. 

Barry could feel Len’s legs moving against his own, the hot press of his shoulders, and the iron grip of his long fingers. It was easy to focus on those and not the parts of Len’s body that were lacking, enjoying the new intimacy. 

He could hear the water softly splashing around them and the damp smack of their skin, his own labored breathing and Len’s growls of pleasure. Then, there was a jingle.

The bells.

“Fuck, fuck!” Barry groaned. 

“What is it?” Len stopped immediately. “Too much? Did I hurt you?”

“No!” Barry shook his head, groaning again as the chiming got louder. He wasn’t even moving but the volume kept increasing. It was almost as if the bells were coming to him. 

“Do you want me to stop?” Len pressed, gently rubbing Barry’s back. 

“I can hear... it’s happening right now,” Barry gasped, reaching up into the air right in front of them. He felt something smooth and then fuzzy, soft and rough in different places. He didn’t understand what part of Len he was holding.

Len’s hand slip up Barry’s arm, helping hold him steady as the bells became more frantic. 

Before Barry’s eyes could focus on the part, there was a bright flicker of light and the screaming bells suddenly stopped. The part was gone and he heard Len gasp behind him. 

Barry turned around to face Len, grunting as it forced him to pull out. “Mmmph, what’s wrong. What happened?”

Len was staring at Barry in complete awe, his long fingers slowly sliding up his cheeks to cup his face. “Barry Allen,” he murmured passionately, a breathless smile curling his lips, “you truly are amazing.”

“I don’t understand!” Barry said urgently. “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”

“You did something incredible,” Len sighed, leaning in and pressing a deep kiss to his lips. 

Barry initially pulled away, thinking his face was about to go right through Len’s. Instead, he found Len’s mouth, warm and real, kissing him fiercely. “Mmmph!” 

He couldn’t believe it, reaching up to find he could touch Len's cheeks, his hair, running his fingers down his strong neck to his shoulders. He kissed him again, passionately and with tongue, not realizing how much he had missed those lips until he finally had a taste of them again.

Len eagerly repositioned Barry on the edge of the pool, wrapping his long legs around his hips. He was pushing back inside of him with renewed vigor, groaning softly as he gave Barry every inch once more.

Barry kept his hands firmly on Len's face, tracing over the shell of his ear and his cheeks, scratching his nails through his short hair. He didn't understand how this was possible and in that moment, he didn't care.

He gave himself over to Len's impossibly perfect thrusts, moaning when he felt himself approaching the edge. Len kept pounding into him, magically stroking parts inside of him that no mortal man would ever be able to be reach. He couldn't stop crying out, trying to smother every sound in Len's hot mouth.

"There! There, right there!" Barry pleaded when Len's ethereal touch hit something divine and he came instantly. His legs shook, his hips jerked, and the wonderful sensation didn't seem to end.

Len rocked him through every shudder, dragging out Barry's climax until he was shaking from head to toe. Only when he seemed sure that Barry was totally satisfied did he come himself, groaning happily and plastering himself against Barry's lean body.

Barry held onto all the parts of Len that he could, ignoring the ones he couldn't, gasping as he tried to keep their lips locked in a sweet kiss. "Oh, Len... that was amazing..."

"You are amazing," Len said with a warm smile. "My little mortal lover has the makings of a god in him."

"What are you talking about?" Barry laughed incredulously.

"My head," Len explained. "You were able to complete the transference with me."

"That's... good? Right? I think it's a good thing?"

"The only person who could do that was Persephone," Len said urgently. "She's a goddess... but you..."

"But I'm only mortal?" Barry blinked, not sure what to make of that. "What does that mean exactly?"

"It means that you're special, Barry," Len assured him, kissing him gently. "That what we have... is special."

"So, you definitely regret being a dick to me before?" Barry teased.

"Yes," Len said with a sour snort. "I already told you that..."

"Just checking!" Barry said with a grin, going in for another kiss. Len was definitely the best kisser he had ever met in his entire life. "Mmph. Could definitely get used to this."

"Does that mean you'd stay?" Len asked quietly.

Barry had been referring to the lovely kisses and Len's question surprised him. He stared dumbly, repeating, "Stay?"

"After we bring back spring," Len said, his hands hesitantly cradling Barry's face. “Would you stay here with me?”

"Len," Barry breathed, his heart starting to flutter. Len was still inside of him and holding him so very tenderly, but he didn't know how to answer. He was just getting used to the idea that there were gods and goddesses in the world and the changing of the seasons was reliant upon an anatomical scavenger hunt. What Len was asking was much more than what they had originally agreed to. 

"You're what... uh... asking me to move in?"

"Yes," Len said, something fearful in his expression as if he had been expecting Barry to respond differently.

"I... uh..."

"You don't need to answer now," Len said quickly, offering a strained smile. 

“Thank you,” Barry sighed in relief, smiling sheepishly. “I’m sorry. It’s just, you know, kind of fast. I still feel like I’m getting to know you, the real you…”

Len nodded, looking away and moving as if to separate from him.

“But,” Barry said, reaching out to touch Len’s cheek and draw him back in for a kiss. “I really, I really like the real you so far.”

Len smiled, for real this time, kissing Barry back earnestly. “Thank you.”

With a wave of his hand, Len had them both cleaned up and dry, swaddled in thick robes standing outside the pool. Barry hugged Len’s hips, glancing back at the waterfall for a long moment and smiling. They didn’t say anything, holding each other close and enjoying the spectacular view.

Barry had never been so happy, thinking over Len’s question again.

Would it be so terrible living with a god? Staying here with him forever?

Barry was still thinking it over when Len brought them back to his suite, cuddling up together in the warm bed. He’d still be able to see his family and friends if he decided to stay with Len. All of the gods still had lives beyond their immortal existence and Barry knew that Len had a very legitimate job other than being in charge of the dead. 

Things could work, they really could…

And yet - Barry found himself hesitating. He couldn’t quite let go of how Len had lied to him and there was so much he didn’t know about this new world. It scared him, to be honest, trying to remind himself that Len was also scared. It was for different reasons, of course, but maybe they could conquer all of those fears together.

Being Queen of the Underworld still didn’t sound so bad.

Barry was about to tell Len as much, but Len was getting out of bed with a groan.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“Business,” Len said with a grimace. 

“Oh,” Barry said quietly, readjusting himself in the bed now that he was alone. He stretched out and took all of the pillows, pouting a bit. “Will you be gone long? I was sort of hoping to talk more.”

“I’ll try to make it quick.”

“When you get called, is it like, a phone call in your head?” Barry grinned. “You just know to go?”

“Something like that,” Len chuckled. He gave Barry a farewell kiss, promising, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Barry watched Len vanish, making up his mind to tell him that he wanted to stay with him. They had already come so far on this incredible journey and he wasn’t ready for it to end. He tried to stay awake, hoping that Len would be back before he fell asleep.

Before he knew it, he was already zonked out.

He was dreaming of exotic waterfalls and warm clouds, a beautiful hazy space where he could run around with puppies. It was so lovely, fussing lightly when he sensed someone slipping into bed beside him. He knew from the touch of the hands that it was Len, relaxing and enjoying his gentle caresses.

Len carefully rolled Barry over on his back, his mouth kissing and sucking at his chest, lower to his stomach.

Barry was definitely awake now, blinking his eyes open to find Len now descending between his legs. His cock was half hard already, murmuring, “Mmm, did someone miss me?”

“Absolutely,” Len purred, licking around the base of Barry’s cock and teasing him into full hardness.

“I missed you, too,” Barry sighed softly, reaching up to grab the pillows behind his head. He was content to let Len lick and play, not even taking him all the way into his mouth yet. The slow and taunting pace felt so good, moaning quietly, “Oh, Len… that’s amazing..”

Len chuckled warmly, his fingers winding around Barry’s cock and slowly sucking him down. He didn’t stop until he had every inch inside his throat, Barry left gasping and stuttering as his hips rocked up.

Apparently gods didn’t need to breathe because holy crap, Len wasn’t stopping at all. He kept bobbing his head, sucking Barry so hard that it made him ache and he wouldn’t be able to last long at all. He dug his fingers into his pillow, squeezing his eyes closed with a loud cry.

Len growled, deep and primal, his hands coming up to squeeze Barry’s ass. He lifted his bottom off the bed, slamming him down into his mouth over and over. Barry’s legs dangled helplessly, loving the heat coiling up inside of him and ready to break at any second.

He wasn’t sure how long it had gone on for, minutes or hours, he couldn’t be sure. When he came, it was like a waterfall crashing down upon him. The force took his breath away, gasping in sharply before exhaling a triumphant moan. He bucked up into Len’s mouth, panting and begging for release.

Len refused, keeping his mouth and tongue firmly locked on Barry’s cock. He sucked and grabbed his balls, swallowing down his cum and working him toward another orgasm.

The discomfort of overstimulation never came, the pleasure simply dipping down before it began to build once more. Barry sobbed when the second climax made him tremble, moaning brokenly, “Oh, Len… I love you! Fuck, I love you so much!”

He couldn’t explain where the words had come from, but the second they left his lips, he was terrified. He stared down at Len, trying to read his expression, but it was difficult with his mouth still stuffed full of his dick. “Len… I…”

Len pulled off with a wet pop, greedily licking his lips and smiling wickedly. “Well, that’s very, very sweet. Almost as sweet as you taste.”

“What?” Barry gawked dumbly. Definitely not the response he had been expecting.

“When ol’ Lenny shows back up, you be sure to tell him,” Len chuckled, crawling up Barry’s body and giving him a deep kiss.

Barry was too stunned to protest, finally coming to his senses and pushing Len away. He scowled, demanding, “What the crap are you talking about? You’re Len! And I just told you that I loved you, which is totally crazy, and you’re being a total weirdo!”

“Probably because I’m not Len.”

“Huh?!”

“Barry…”

Barry jerked his head up when he heard someone say his name, the voice weirdly familiar, and he quickly noticed two things were very, very wrong. 

First of all, he could feel Len’s chest pressed against his own, a part of the god’s body that he knew they hadn’t restored yet. 

Additionally, he could see Len - another Len - glaring furiously at him from the side of the bed.

Oh, this wasn’t good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurray, a new update! Sorry for the huge delay, but I've been super busy getting my first book PUBLISHED! It's Cold Hard Cash, kittens! AGH! I really hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I had writing it!!! I would super appreciate some love and maybe some nice reviews and all that magical stuff! I should hopefully get back on a more normal writing schedule soon, thanks for your patience and all the love! <333
> 
> Thank you so much, lovelies! More on the way soon! <3


	6. Chapter 6

“What?!” Barry stared in shock, glancing between the two Lens until reality clicked into place. He had been tricked in the most awful way, too stunned at first to even react. 

“Oliver,” Len - the real Len - snarled furiously, the entire building shaking with his fury. 

“You fucking bastard!” Barry’s anger matched Len’s, rearing back and socking Oliver right in his mouth. 

The blow made his face flicker, Len’s false face turning back into Oliver’s true visage. He pouted, complaining, “Hey! We were just having fun!”

“Fun?!” Barry growled, shoving at the god to get him off of him. “You’ve ruined everything, you son of a bitch!” His eyes turned to Len, pleading, “Listen, please. I had no idea it was him! I thought it was you-“

“Not now,” Len cut in coldly, snatching Oliver up by the back of his neck. The building was still vibrating from his rage, dragging the god off the bed like a rag doll. 

Barry pulled the covers up around himself, still trying to explain, “Please, Len! I wouldn’t have ever-“

“Silence!” Len bellowed, the whole room shaking again. “I’ll deal with you when I’m done with him!”

Barry cowered, watching in horror as Len disappeared with Oliver. The last thing he saw was Len’s hands wrapping around Oliver’s neck, his heart sinking down into his gut. 

This was it. This was the end.

Everything had been ruined...

He’d told the wrong Len that he’d loved him and he didn’t know how to fix this. He was torn between anger and regret, mad at himself for not having realized sooner that it wasn’t the real Len. 

Barry wished he could run away, looking miserably at the door. He had no idea where it would lead, but he couldn’t stand being in this bed another second. 

It felt soiled. 

He got up, finding his clothes and getting dressed. He headed to the door, pulling it open and bracing himself for a crowd of screaming souls. 

What Barry found instead was an empty cavern, hesitating to leave. 

He looked back at the suite and decided that a quick walk was exactly what he needed. He had to clear his head and he had no idea how long Len would be gone. 

Or what kind of mood he would be in...

Barry shuddered as he recalled Len’s rage, slowly walking into the cavern with his head down. He didn’t know what would be involved with Len ‘dealing with him’, but he was fairly certain that he wasn’t going to like it. 

He barely noticed the door shutting behind him, much less how it disappeared, leaving him trapped in the dank caves. He thought this area looked familiar, finding a large sea of glowing orbs floating above his head.

Heavens, he thought, looking over them all in awe.

He wondered which one was Katie’s, the little girl he had met before, tempted to try and visit her. He had no way of knowing which one was hers, ultimately deciding it wasn’t worth the risk. 

Barry couldn’t even be sure that he would be able to travel into those little worlds. 

Ugh, or even if he could get back. 

Not without Len, he thought sadly. He couldn’t do anything without Len. He was so damn helpless here. 

Some great Queen of the Underworld he was.

As he walked along, he began to come across statues of men and women. They seemed to be coming out of the walls and the floor, all of them carved in strange positions. Some were curled up on their sides, others were holding their heads as if weeping, and a few were positioned as if they had simply collapsed. 

They were eerily beautiful in spite of their sad expressions, Barry stopping to examine them more closely. The statues looked so lifelike, the amount of detail absolutely haunting. 

Barry couldn’t explain the sadness that was suddenly coming over him, dropping to his knees and holding his face in his hands. He looked just like the forlorn statues, crying softly to himself.

He loved Len so much and none of this was fair. Why couldn’t Oliver have shown up as a goose or a bull, something Barry would have been able to immediately refuse? A shower of gold even? Something. Anything other than the face of the man he loved. 

Barry didn’t think Len was going to forgive him, tears starting to sting his eyes. He’d ruined everything and there wasn’t going to be any way to fix it. 

He would have to return home to his boring and lonely life without ever getting to experience the love he felt when he was with Len ever again. 

His tears were falling faster and faster, sobbing miserably and groaning in pain. He swore his heart was breaking, convinced he had lost it all. 

The pain was horrible, his chest too tight, and his legs...

His legs hurt.

He looked down through his fingers, gasping when he realized his legs were turning to stone. His feet had melded with the cavern floor and he was slowly becoming a statue like all of the others. 

Barry should have been terrified, but any will he had left to struggle was leaving him in a wave of despair. 

What did it matter? 

Len didn’t love him, he didn’t want him any more... who would, after the awful things Barry had done?

He groaned again, the strange transformation reaching his hips now. He was starting to feel numb, his mind clouding, and his lingering thoughts were of Len. 

Beautiful, funny, charming Len.

“Barry!” Len’s booming voice echoed throughout the cave. “Where are you?!”

Barry thought he was hearing things. Len could not possibly be looking for him. The stone was creeping up his chest, his breath catching and sobbing quietly. He didn’t bother calling back. 

It wouldn’t change anything, so why did it matter?

“Barry!” Len shouted, more desperate now. 

Barry only cried softly, struggling to take another breath. One more, maybe two, and everything was dark... 

Wait, Len really was here. 

Why was Len here?

Barry’s vision had gone black and he forgot all about Len. His thoughts were curiously calm and blank.

He was no longer in the cave. He could see warm light all around him, so bright that it blinded him at first. When it began to clear, he realized he was on board _Serenity_ , the ship from _Firefly_.

Every detail was perfect, exactly as it was on the show, and Barry was totally stunned. He wasn’t in pain anymore and the sadness was gone, quickly hurrying to the helm to check everything out. 

He was sitting down, looking out into a sea of stars. He didn’t understand how he was here and he couldn’t remember why he had been so upset. He ran his hands adoringly over the controls and colorful buttons, gasping when he felt something brush against his leg. 

He leaned back in the chair and looked down, laughing when he found a basket of puppies tucked away by his feet. “What in the world are you little guys doing here?”

Barry was met with lots of little happy barks, dropping down to the floor to cuddle with them. They were puppies of all kinds, shapes and sizes, laughing excitedly as they wiggled out of the basket and into his lap. 

They were all his favorite breeds, from Mastiffs to Boston Terriers, each one perfectly adorable in every way. He snuggled with each and every one before his legs began to fall asleep. He groaned as he finally got up to stretch, grinning down at his new army of pups. “Ready to go explore?”

All the pups yipped at him happily, following right behind him as he went to check out of the rest of the ship.

He immediately noticed that there were some doors he knew weren’t part of the original _Serenity_. Everything else about the ship was so perfect and they were very out of place. Curious, he opened one to see what was going on.

Inside was a sauna room with a massage table, Jonathan Frakes standing by wearing his Commander Riker costume and a warm smile. The uniform was definitely not Starfleet issue, the top portion having been split open to reveal Frakes’ very broad chest.

“In need of a massage, Master Allen?” Frakes asked politely. 

“Oh, jeez,” Barry squeaked, blushing vividly. He’d had a crush on Riker ever since he was a teenager and here he was, chest bulging in all of his bearded glory. 

“Oil’s all ready for you, sir,” Frakes urged. “Nice and warm.”

“Uh, uh, maybe later!” Barry squeaked again.

“I’ll be here,” Frakes promised, giving Barry a lusty wink.

Barry shut the door with a dopey grin, hissing excitedly to the puppies, “Holy crap, that was Riker! Wow! This place is incredible!”

They barked in agreement. 

He hurried into the kitchen, discovering that the dining area had a giant Chinese food buffet, steaming hot. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was, eagerly diving in to fix a plate and sneak sesame chicken to the puppies still crowding around his feet. 

Every time he scooped up a spoonful of food, the dish magically refilled itself. Barry couldn’t believe it, laughing giddily. Everything here was so perfect and all of his unhappy memories had been forgotten.

This place was paradise. 

Barry sat down to enjoy his Chinese food feast, cuddling with the puppies and sneaking them more nibbles. He felt so happy here, totally at peace. He wasn’t sure what he had been doing before, but this place was awesome. 

He could suddenly hear someone’s footsteps, turning around to see Len walking toward him. It took him a few seconds to even remember who he was, laughing, “Len?! What in the world are you doing here?”

“I’m taking you back,” Len said with a sad smile. “You don’t belong here. It isn’t your time, Barry.”

“My time?” Barry cocked his head curiously. “What are you talking about?”

“Barry,” Len sighed, his hard expression cracked by a bittersweet smile. “Don’t you understand where you are? Do you even remember what happened? This is your Heaven.”

Barry stiffened, realization crashing over him like a bucket of ice water. “This is... this is my Heaven?”

“Yes.”

“I’m... I’m dead?” Barry struggled to pull his fuzzy memories together. “I died in that cave?”

“Yes, but not for long,” Len said earnestly, holding out his hand. “Come with me. Right now.”

“Come with you where?” Barry frowned, looking down at all the puppies. “I’m so happy here.”

“If you come with me now, I promise I’ll get you a puppy,” Len swore,”but we need to go now.”

“You’ll really get me a puppy?”

“Yes!”

“Any puppy I want?”

“Yes, I swear.” 

“Okay,” Barry finally agreed, reaching out to take Len’s hand. The second Barry touched him, the ship disappeared. No more puppies or Riker or Chinese food. 

He was back in the dank cavern, alive and oh, he was in so much pain. The pain was horrible and he stared down at his body with a strangled gasp, most of it having turned to stone and finding that he was unable to move. 

Breathing was almost impossible.

“Len!” he cried, shrill and frantic. His lungs were tight, struggling to inhale.

“Hang on,” Len murmured, pulling Barry against his shoulder and kissing his brow. “Oh, my sweet boy. Hold on.” He slid a hand over Barry’s chest, the stone disappearing instantly. “I’ve got you.”

Barry could finally breathe normally again, wheezing, “Shit! What, what happened?!”

“I’m sorry,” Len said urgently. “I had no right to take out my anger on you. I never thought it would drive you here, I never-“

“I don’t understand! Where did I go? I really died?”

“Hold on,” Len said, his hand moving faster and now gliding over Barry’s legs. 

The stone vanished away, Barry’s mind starting to clear. The overwhelming sadness and confusion was fading, staring up at Len in bewilderment. “What is this place?”

“This is the Pit of Despair,” Len explained, gently petting Barry’s hair. “Souls are drawn here when they’re in pain... The misery takes over and traps them forever. I don’t know how you got down here-“

“I wanted to go for a walk, I just, I just-!”

“It’s all right,” Len soothed. “I’m not angry. I promise I’m not angry.”

“But Oliver-?!”

“Is a disgusting excuse for an immortal and I tore him into pieces for touching you,” Len said, a hint of growl roughing up his smooth tone. “I’m sorry that I was so unkind with you. You didn’t deserve it. Please... forgive me.”

“You really aren’t mad at me?” Barry groaned as he stretched his legs, sore from being frozen. 

“No,” Len assured him. “I shouldn’t have left you without talking to you first, but I was distracted.”

“Too focused on kicking your brother’s ass?”

“Precisely.”

“What did you do?” 

“Exactly what I said,” Len scoffed, petting Barry’s cheek with a smirk. “I tore him into pieces and threw them all down into the deepest part of the Underworld.”

“I’m not sure if I should be flattered or terrified,” Barry laughed. “I mean... is he dead?”

“No,” Len grumbled, sounding vaguely disappointed. “He’s immortal. He’ll be able to drag his worthless carcass back together eventually.”

“The other gods can do that, but you can’t?”

“The other gods don’t have their essence tied into the seasons,” Len snorted. 

“Sorry,” Barry said sheepishly. “And I’m sorry for leaving. I wanted to get away for a little bit, that’s all. Definitely didn’t mean to die.”

“I’m just glad you’re all right,” Len said, looking very relieved. He smirked, adding playfully, “I haven’t had any of my brides die on me before.” 

“Ha ha ha,” Barry snorted, rolling his eyes. 

Len kissed his forehead, chuckling, “Too soon?”

“Very.”

“Hmm. Come on. Let’s get you home and I can tell you more terrible jokes.”

“Hey, Len? I don’t think I can go back in that room,” Barry began nervously. “Not after all of that...”

“No,” Len said, shaking his head with a fond smile. “You misunderstand my intentions. I said we’re going home. To my home... well, now I suppose it’s our home.”

“What?” Barry gawked. 

Len smirked playfully, sweeping Barry up into his arms as he said, “Well, as it turns out, Barry Allen? I love you, too.”

Barry’s face flushed a lovely shade of red and he was left staring even more dumbly. “Uh, uh, uh, so, you... you really heard that?”

“I did,” Len said, kissing him deeply.

“Oh, Len...” Barry swore he was going to melt right in Len’s arms, kissing him back passionately. 

“Now, my dear queen,” Len purred, “close your eyes.”

Barry did so, clinging to Len’s shoulders as he felt wind rush by him. Len nudged him and he opened his eyes, taking in the interior of a small house. 

It was hardly the grand mansion that Barry was expecting, finding hardwood floors and hundreds of books, a few paintings, and worn furniture. It was warm and cozy, and he could smell cinnamon and sandalwood. 

“This is your home?” Barry asked, hoping Len didn’t mistake his surprise for disappointment.

“Yes,” Len said, gently setting Barry down. “Over the years, I’ve found I need very little in the way of material things.”

“Says the richest god ever,” Barry teased, exploring the kitchen and fridge with a grin. He looked around, still smiling, laughing, “Seriously! This is perfect!”

“You like it?”

“I love it,” Barry confirmed, circling back to hug Len’s shoulders and kiss him sweetly. “And I love you.”

“You’re going to stay,” Len said quietly, his eyes shimmering with raw emotion. “That means you’re going to stay.”

“Yes. I want to see where this goes, okay? It’s still crazy and what the hell, your family is really super insane, but...” Barry took a deep breath. “I can’t imagine being with anyone else now.”

“And these humble accommodations are satisfactory?”

“Pfffft! You should see my apartment. It’s a freakin’ closet compared to this, okay? Trust me, this is perfect.” 

Len smiled, pleased at that. “Mmm, would you like something to eat? Drink?”

“Honestly, bed sounds awesome,” Barry confessed. “That whole being turned to stone and dying thing wore me out. Also, what the hell?”

“What?”

“Those people! Are they just trapped there?”

“They’re souls who have refused their eternal resting place,” Len sighed. “Whether a Heaven or Hell, their misery is too much and they’re lost there forever.”

“When I got trapped and died temporarily, I went to what? My Heaven?”

“Yes,” Len nodded. “Living souls aren’t meant to go there. When you died, your soul passed on to your final resting place. Those other souls there died long ago and they’re trapped.”

“Can’t you wake them up?”

“Yes, but they always go back there...”

“There has to be a way,” Barry said earnestly. “Maybe while we’re hunting body bits, we can try to think of something?”

“For you, my queen,” Len promised. “I will try.”

“Thank you.” 

“Come on,” Len urged, taking Barry’s hand. “Let’s go to bed.” He guided Barry to the bedroom, scooping him up and playfully tossing him onto the plush bed. 

Barry giggled, watching his clothes transform into a pair of fleece pajamas. Being married to a god was pretty darn cool. He got under the covers and snuggled up to Len’s side as soon as he joined him. 

“Mmm, this is nice,” Len murmured contently.

“Be even nicer when you’re all back together,” Barry teased. “I swear, I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off of you.”

“Mmm, I look forward to it,” Len laughed. 

“Thank you,” Barry said, quiet and sweet, his heart fluttering in his chest. “Thank you so much.”

“For what?”

“For saving me, for believing me, for... for loving me.”

“Loving you, Barry Allen, is the easiest thing in the world,” Len said with a soft smile. 

“Loving you is a challenge,” Barry teased sweetly, “but totally worth the effort.”

“Thank you for rising to the occasion,” Len said, leaning in for a gentle kiss. 

“It’s my pleasure,” Barry said, nuzzling their noses together. “Also, I’ve gotta say my Heaven looked pretty awesome, by the way. Riker as my personal masseuse? That was a nice touch.”

“It’s a work in progress,” Len said humbly, “but I do try to create a worthy resting place for every soul.”

“It was pretty close to perfect,” Barry said with a casual shrug. “It was missing one pretty important thing, though. I mean, like crucial.”

“What?” Len frowned. “There were nine breeds of puppies, I counted them all myself. What did I forget?”

“You,” Barry said with a loving smile. “No way that place or any other could be my Heaven without you in it.”

Len was stunned, actually blushing and at a loss for words. He just kept staring at Barry with the most adorable expression in his face.

“This would be a great time to say ‘I love you, Barry’,” Barry whispered loudly. “Just a thought.”

“Ah, of course,” Len laughed, kissing Barry with a grin. “Barry Allen, my beautiful queen? Light of my life? I love you.”

Barry giggles happily, replying, “I love you, too.”


	7. Chapter 7

The final piece Barry found was Len’s left foot. 

He had almost expected confetti to drop down from the cavern ceiling, but it simply disappeared as before. It was magically transfixed back to Len’s body and after a brief glow, there was nothing. 

“That’s it?” Barry asked, snorting.

“That’s it,” Len said, stretching his arms and groaning lightly as if he had just woken up from a long nap. “Mmm... and in record time. It’s not even winter yet and look at you.”

“I’m already a champion body part scavenger hunter?” Barry laughed. 

“Precisely,” Len sighed, reaching out for Barry’s hand. He kissed his knuckles, slowly pulling him into a tight embrace.

“I’m sure it’ll get easier every year,” Barry chuckled. “Maybe next time I’ll try to beat my record, huh?”

“Next time,” Len repeated softly, almost as if he still couldn’t believe it. 

“There’s going to be a next time,” Barry confirmed with a bright smile, “because I’m not going anywhere.”

Len kissed him, squeezing his waist and sighing happily. “Thank you.”

“Len,” Barry giggled, patting his cheek. “You don’t have to thank me for loving you.”

“Mmm, well, I know that I don’t make it easy.”

“Nope,” Barry said with a wink. “But it’s worth it.”

Len nuzzled close, breathing Barry in as he said, “Now that I am fully restored and spring is secured, I would very much like to show you grateful I am.”

Barry blushed, his hands sliding up Len’s chest. “Take me home, Len... right now.” 

“Gladly, my queen,” Len purred happily, magically whisking them away to his little house. 

Barry felt so safe and happy here, grinning wide as he kissed Len. He wanted to touch every inch of him, just to make sure the divine process had truly worked and all of him was where it should be. 

Len snorted in laughter when Barry grabbed his butt, breaking the kiss to tease, “Checking everything out?”

“Look,” Barry huffed playfully, “it’s not that having sex without all of your parts isn’t nice. In some ways, it’s weirdly hot - but! I’ve missed you. Having all of you.”

“I’m all yours,” Len promised him, sweeping Barry up into his arms and carrying him toward the bed. 

Barry would never get over how much he loved this, happily hugging Len’s neck and swinging his feet. “You know, you never did carry me over the threshold.”

“Oh? Should I have?” Len smirked.

“Well, we did get married,” Barry pointed out with a shy grin. “Maybe... maybe we could have a real wedding...?”

“Whatever you want,” Len promised, gently placing Barry down in their bed. He stretched out beside him, his hands sliding over his body and pulling him into a sweet kiss. “I will happily marry you again... and again... forever.”

Barry shivered, grinning wide as he said, “Just once will be good enough for me.”

“But we already got married-“

“One time when I actually know that we’re being married,” Barry clarified with a short laugh. “That will be enough, I promise!” 

Len chuckled warmly, affectionately running his fingers through Barry’s hair. “Whatever my queen wants, he will have.”

“Even if it’s to be married on board an exact replica of _Serenity_?” Barry teased.

“If that’s what you want,” Len promised with a wink. “I’ll even dress up like Captain Mal for you.”

“Oh? Am I to be your beautiful Companion then?” Barry batted his eyes coyly.

“You do look rather ravishing in jewels...”

“I do...”

“Mmm, I may just have a little surprise for you then,” Len said with a twinkle in his eye. He held out his hand, a large velvet box appearing in his palm. 

“What is this?” Barry blinked. He hesitantly took the box, his mind distracted from getting physical for the moment.

“A gift,” Len said, gesturing for Barry to open it. “It was going to be a farewell gift, but now that you’re not saying farewell, well, hmm. Thought you’d like to wear it for me.”

Barry cracked it open, gasping when it revealed a thick diamond collar. It was absolutely stunning, blushing when he realized that Len definitely intended for him to wear this and nothing else. 

“Only if you put it on me...”

“Gladly.” Len leaned in for a kiss, eagerly pulling Barry against him. He slowly pulled off his shirt, only breaking their kiss to get it over his head. 

Barry licked into Len’s mouth, groaning as his strong hands continued to strip him down. The god was taking his time, caressing every inch of skin as he went. 

The slow pace was beautiful and maddening, Barry happily moving his hands to work at the buttons of Len’s shirt. He took his time, just as Len had, touching him everywhere. He loved that he could feel everything, no longer limited by missing body parts. 

He rubbed Len’s strong shoulders, caressed his chest and his stomach. He pushed his slacks down to get at his hips and thighs, their kiss growing more and more frantic as he went. 

Barry made sure to pay each part equal reverence and love, certain his jaw was aching from so much kissing. He tangled their legs together when they were both completely bare, grinding their cocks together as they kissed. 

Len shifted forward, stretching Barry out on his back. He reached for the collar, gently snapping it around his neck as he said, “I dug these gems out of the earth myself, just for you...”

“I love it,” Barry gushed, the cool jewelry making goosebumps prick up along his skin. “And I love you.”

“I love you,” Len said sincerely, bowing his head for a kiss. 

Barry eagerly returned it, trying to push Len back onto his side. He had some very specific ideas about what he wanted to do next, but he might as well have been trying to move a truck. 

Len finally pulled back with a breathless laugh. “What are you doing?”

“If you’d please roll over on your side, I would show you,” Barry said stubbornly.

“As you wish, your highness,” Len chuckled, tilting over as requested. 

Barry scrambled to turn around, also on his side, pressing his head down between Len’s legs. He licked a long stripe up his cock, pushing his hips up to Len’s face. 

“Ohhh, Barry,” Len purred, catching on quick and grabbing Barry’s hips. 

Barry grinned, using his hand to grab the base of Len’s dick and start sucking him down. He nearly choked when Len effortlessly deep throated him, holding onto his ass firmly and forcing him to fuck his face. “Shit!”

Len didn’t stop, happy to take all of Barry at once, sucking hard and maintaining a ridiculous amount of pressure while still stuffing every inch down his throat. 

Barry tried to keep up, squeezing Len’s cock as he sucked him. He started bobbing his head, using his tongue and every trick he knew to make Len feel good. Hearing his soft groans was like music, determined to make him come first. 

But that was pretty much impossible when you were competing with a god. 

Len was still sucking him hard, his hands sliding between Barry’s thighs to spread them wide. Barry wasn’t sure what Len was up to, gasping when he could feel himself getting wet and opened up.

Barry moaned when he felt something hot, something hard, pressing against his hole. He had to pull off, gasping in shock, “That’s... that’s...?! Your cock?”

“Mmhmm,” Len hummed deeply.

Barry cried softly, stunned as he felt Len’s cock pressing into him while he continued to blow him. It should have been impossible - Len’s cock was slowly fucking him, but it was right here in front of his face. 

He pulled him back into his mouth, amazed that the same cock tickling his throat was inside of him. It was dirty and wonderful and he knew he was going to come any second. 

Being with a god was so awesome. 

Barry couldn’t keep any suction, moaning as he threw his head back and came down Len’s throat. His orgasm went on and on, Len’s magical cock pressing so deep and his mouth was too damn hot. It was beyond heavenly, certain he was about to pass out.

He went limp against the bed, groaning as the phantom cock pulled out of him and Len finally released him. “Holy... shit...”

Len was beaming proudly, crawling on top of Barry with a lusty growl. “Ohhh, I’m just getting started.”

Barry wasn’t sure how much he could take, but Len was ever so patient; slow when Barry needed it, rough when he was ready for more. He made such sweet love to him that Barry was left aching countless times. 

He flipped Barry over on his stomach, using the collar to hang on as he fucked him right before pulling him on top to sweetly thrust up into him. It was loving and savage, Len using all of his godly prowess to push Barry’s mortal flesh to every possible extreme of bliss. 

Barry took it all, his heart and hole overflowing by the time they were done. He collapsed in Len’s arms, panting and laughing breathlessly. “Wow... Len... you, uh, you really outdid yourself.”

Len had barely broken a sweat, but he looked very pleased with himself. “Mmm. Anytime.”

“If I have a lifetime of that to look forward to, yeah, wow, count me in,” Barry chuckled. 

“Oh, that’s a promise, Barry,” Len assured him, sliding his fingers over the thick collar. “I’ll happily spend the rest of eternity worshipping you, my queen.”

“I love you, Len,” Barry said, beaming sweetly. 

“And I love you, Barry. Always.” 

Winter was cold, but Barry barely noticed it. He spent every second he could with Len and it was always hot. He loved each sweet moment, whether it was experiencing Len’s bedroom magic or the simple joy of cuddling on the couch together. 

He’d never been so happy. 

Spring came and with it, a wedding. They kept things simple and the guest list was short. Though Barry’s side of the family raised their brows at such a speedy union, they were all very happy for him. One look and they could see how in love Barry was. 

They didn’t get married on any spaceships, but a tiny replica of _Serenity_ served as their cake topper. 

It was perfect. 

Married life was wonderful, balancing the world outside of the Underworld and his new queenly duties. 

Barry was eventually able to help Len find new ways to coax the souls out of the Pit of Despair. Some of them would end up back after a few weeks, but others were finally able to move on.

He never gave up, and Len was right there to help him keep trying. Len seemed to admire his tenacity, never questioning his seemingly impossible mission to save all of those souls. 

Spring came, thanks to Barry’s quick body part scavenging, and they enjoyed a beautiful summer together. Len took Barry all over the world, showing him all sorts of incredible sights. Nothing was off limits, not when your new husband was an actual god. 

The first cool morning brought back some old fears, Len rising early and stirring around mindlessly in the kitchen. Barry awoke to an empty bed, wrapping himself up in the blankets to go find him. 

He found Len making them coffee, sleepily snuggling up to his side. “Mmm, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You know, I would have thought a god would be a better liar.”

“Hmmph...”

“Have you deleted all your online dating profiles?”

“What?” Len frowned, turning to glance at Barry over his shoulder. 

“Your dating profiles,” Barry said, hugging Len’s waist with a smug smile. “You don’t need them any more. You don’t have to look for another bride... because I’m right here.”

Len relaxed slowly, one of his hands taking Barry’s at his waist and giving it a squeeze. “And you’re going to stay.”

It almost sounded like a question. 

“Yes,” Barry said confidently, cuddling happily. “I’m going to stay. And when you fall apart, hey, I’ll be right here.”

“Hmm... still gonna drop my bits?” Len asked dryly, though there was a smile in his voice. 

“Probably!” Barry laughed. “But hey, mm... I’ll be here to pick up all the pieces again. Even if it’s off the floor.”

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <333 Thanks for reading!


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